Jimmy Olsen 82

JIMMY OLSEN 82 (1965)
“The Wedding of Magi and Sandra!” by Jerry Siegel & Curt Swan
“The Unbeatable Jimmy Olsen” by Jerry Siegel & George Papp

Well what did you expect, Superman, Jimmy’s already had 32 super-powers. That’s a couple more than you have.

But before we talk about the cover story, let’s start with ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

CAN YOU PLEASE STOP WITH THIS NONSENSE!?!?

But yes, FOR THE THIRD TIME we have to suffer Jimmy’s and Lucy’s secret identities.

Including Jimmy faking having magic powers because why not.

Lucy is typically… well I wouldn’t call her smart, but she’s not THIS dumb.

“I’m tops with this torrid tomato”. Jimmy is such a romantic.

“Magi the magnificent” drops some not-really-subtle hints that he wants to propose, but Lucy has some doubts. Mostly because she’s convinced that he has an obsessive hatred towards blondes.

Jimmy, on the other hand, is terrified by the idea of her learning that he’s Jimmy Olsen.

Jimmy’s idea to get out of marriage is to FAKE HIS OWN DEATH.

Well, if she can’t marry Magi, she might as well settle for Jimmy.
It’s astonishing how much these two don’t work together!

I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t the reason why measles patients are isolated.

But they actually manage to marry each other!

This looks like the beginning of a happy marriage and not of a double suicide.

They don’t even make it to dinner before they both start thinking about a divorce!!!!!

Except…

This is fine. Totally normal reaction.

Well, it was more realistic than THIS:

But if you think this means we’re stuck with Mr. and Mrs. Olsen, you haven’t read enough Silver Age because at the very last two panels…

THESE PEOPLE ARE INSANE.

Let’s move to the cover story, which begins with Jimmy Olsen visiting our lord and savior Professor Potter.

Only Jimmy Olsen would find a way to turn this into news about himself.

I love the fact that Perry White immediately suspects Jimmy is going to cheat.

The cover scene actually makes it into the story.

However, once later Jimmy tries to use his super-strength against some thugs…

Our Lord Professor Potter makes another batch of serum for Jimmy, and it works on Superman once again.

And it doesn’t work on anyone else, AGAIN.

Superman is even more confused than the reader.

The secret turns out to be that Professor Potter has gone mad. What the…!?!?

Professor Potter breaks all laws of physics and logic in EVERY appearance, but according to this story he’s a fraud whose inventions barely ever work!?
Get outta here!!!

Superman “cures” Professor Potter by pretending that he needs his serum to defeat Jimmy.

In my headcanon, Professor Potter actually invented something that accidentally gave him a split personality and its effects simply wore off.

How is this even worse than the story with Sandra and Magi!?!?

 

Historical significance: 0/10
And thank Potter for that, because it means that Lucy didn’t really marry Jimmy.

 Silver Age-ness: 5/10
Both stories are sadly average for this period.

 Does it stand the test of time?
First story: 0/10
Now can we PLEASE never see Sandra and Magi ever again!?
Second story: 0/10
May Professor Potter have mercy of our souls.

 Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
First story: When Lucy wants to break up with Magi, she just ghosts him. When Jimmy wants to break up with Sandra, he pretends to drown.
Second story: Was it really necessary to drink the serum so many times before figuring out that the professor was up to something!?