LOIS LANE #70 (1966)
by Leo Dorfman & Kurt Schaffenberger
Don’t get distracted by the catfight. There is also “Superpussycat” inside a Kryptonite cage.
It’s a bird! It’s a plane!
It’s… uhm… you figure out what it is, okay?
The giant mechanical bird distributes leaflets to announce the opening of a bird sanctuary (how much money do they make!?!?). And it’s a target for the Penguin.
The Penguin escaped prison by building a vibrating toy. This is still a story for kids, right? Right?
Lois sneaks into the bird sanctuary, where she’s ambushed by a bird that lays a fake egg full of sleeping gas.
She ends up being captured by Catwoman. If you’re only familiar with the modern interpretation, this is going to be quite a whiplash.
This story goes… places. First Catwoman makes Lois wear her costume…
…and then she makes her believe she’s the real one thanks to cataleptic hypnosis.
So… Catwoman can do anything as long as it’s based on a cat pun? Is that it?
Yeah, I believe that’s how it works.
I’m not a cat person, but I seriously doubt this would work on a lion.
Catwoman plan is to make Lois steal from the Penguin and take the blame.
While not exactly brilliant, it’s not as dumb as I expected from this comic.
Superman and Batman are waiting for the Penguin to show up in Metropolis to interrupt a pointless cameo by Lady Bird Johnson.
But the Penguin is actually at the bird sanctuary, which is at Phoenix Castle.
Just go with it.
Penguin finds Catwoman there (actually Lois Lane) and even proposes!
Then Batman and Superman show up, with Penguin hiding behind a fountain. (!!!!)
This brilliant scheme fails IMMEDIATELY.
And that’s where the Penguin leaves this story!
Then Cat-Lois discovers that Superman is Clark Kent!
(Superman knows this is Lois thanks to, what else, x-ray vision)
The real Catwoman shows up, de-hypnotizes Lois and puts her in a cage.
All to get a piece of hot Superman action.
Those cat puns are beginning to be reeeeeeally annoying.
This is what the Catacombs look like. That’s supposed to be a cat!?!?
Meanwhile, Lois manages to escape and finds… *sigh*… the Kitty-Car.
Because I guess “catmobile” didn’t quite sound stupid enough.
Why set the auto pilot for your secret hideout!?!?
And I am extremely proud to say, ladies and gentlemen, that NOW the story goes completely off the rails.
Yep. Catwoman had a magic wand available THIS ENTIRE TIME.
THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING.
Then when Lois shows up, Catwoman releases her GIANT MUTANT MURDER CATS.
This story was written by someone sniffing something way stronger than catnip.
I mean, it has Superman revealing his true identity by licking himself!!!
And so we end on a cliffhanger with Catwoman versus Catwoman for the fate of Superpussycat!
I’m not drunk enough for this.
To be continued (if I still have enough brain cells left).
Historical significance: 0/10
HAHAHAHA
Silver Age-ness: 12/10
We STARTED at 10/10 until the magic wand showed up.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
The Batman stories of his camp period hold up better than this, and I hate his camp period!
Stupid Lois Lane moment
She can find Catwoman’s lair at the push of a button thanks to the Kitty-Car, but she goes there alone instead of calling the police.