Invaders 32-33 & Marvel Universe 2

“Invaders” was a book following the adventures of Captain America’s first superhero team in WWII. So what is this doing on a Doctor Doom retrospective?

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INVADERS #32 (1978)
Written by Roy Thomas
Pencils by Alan Kupperberg
Cover by Jack Kirby & Alan Kupperberg

This is also a team-up between Thor and Hitler. So, uhm… yeah.

We begin in the UK, where the Invaders prevent Nazi saboteurs from stealing some experimental super-tanks.

Unfortunately these tanks were supposed to be gifted to the Russians, and since the Invaders destroyed them they’re going to deliver the last one to Stalin himself.

There’s also some drama involving Union Jack, who feels like he’s not being useful because he’s the only one on the team without super-powers (in addition to Cap and Namor, the team has the original Human Torch and the speedster Spitfire).

We then cut to Hitler at the opera.

All of this is to make the connection between Hitler and Asgard.

Mind you, the Invaders have already met the Norse gods… but not the real ones: they were people turned into imitations of the Asgardians by an alien.
Just in case you were wondering what kind of comic book Invaders was.

But this time Hitler is sure that he can summon the real Asgardians, thanks to Dr. Olsen and his assistant.

Hmm. This Dr. Olsen looks familiar. Have I seen him before?

Let’s hope not. THIS Olsen has built a machine that can summon Thor.

And he built this by studying opera. (WTF!?!?)

And so… Thor is in World War II Germany!

Hold on. There is A LOT to unpack on this page, so I’m going to dissect it because it shows just how horrible Roy Thomas writing can be.

First of all, the matching annotations on top and bottom:

This has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO with the story. It’s basically there to correct an error that isn’t even there: the fact that Dr. Olsen was showing Thor on a TV screen, but since this is a story set in the 40s there shouldn’t be any TV. Except…
1) We’re not told it’s a TV! It could easily have been a projection!
2) That screen was way too large to be considered a TV even by 21th century standards
3) I’m no expert but the idea that TV was perfected in the 1800s sounds like bull##
4) We can swallow the dimensional teleporter just fine but a TV screen requires an explanation!?

Oh but I am not done with this page! Because we have to complicate things with this mess:

I have no trouble believing that Thor speaks in a magical language that anybody can understand.
But why throw it in that Olsen hears him speak in Norwegian while Hitler hears him in German!?
Also, what language ARE they speaking now? Because if Hitler is speaking German and it’s being translated for our sake… why his “nein, herr Doktor” not translated as well?

Other Roy Thomas stuff: Thor hears Hitler give an order to ONE person…

…and that alone somehow merits Thor commenting on this!

Hitler convinces Thor that the Germans are noble people because they descend from people who worshiped him, that that the Russians are the real bad guys here.

Thor is not very bright in this one.

Back to the Invaders, they discover that the WWII Russian front isn’t a good place.

Subtlety, thy name is not Roy Thomas.

They eventually do get to deliver the super-tanks to Stalin.

Wait… I have to dissect this one as well, because it’s a pet peeve of mine.

First of all: the quote is supposed to be about bumblebees, not just bees.
Second: I absolutely despise this myth because WE KNOW how bumblebees can fly! And we’ve known for more than a century!!!
*groan*

Can we cut to Thor arriving on the scene?

Good, because that’s mercifully the end of the issue.

Bonus: I typically don’t cover the letters in these one-off reviews, but this one addresses one of my major gripes with this title (other than the fact that I don’t like Roy Thomas in general).

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INVADERS #33 (1978)
Written by Roy Thomas
Pencils by Alan Kupperberg
Cover by Jack Kirby, Alan Kupperberg & Dave Cockrum

Despite the atrocious story, at least this title could get some real talent for the covers!

I just realized that I could’ve skipped the entire previous issue and not lost anything.

Okay, so… Thor versus the Invaders. Which might be a problem, since only Namor is on Thor’s weight class.

Aaaand he’s down in the next panel.

But Namor isn’t completely down yet: he gets to save Stalin because he’s the only Invader who speaks Russian. Which is kind of weird since I figured at least Captain America did as well.
(we will see Cap speak a fair bit of Russian in future stories)

With the Human Torch de-powered by the heavy rain summoned by Thor, it’s up to Union Jack and Spitfire to lose the next turn.

Priorities, Union Jack, priorities!!! I swear Roy Thomas characters pull this unnecessary drama every single time!!!

Thor leaves the battle without having killed Stalin (or having battled the Russians, really) and decides to talk with Hitler by summoning a hologram with his hammer. (????)

Then Dr. Olsen realizes that maaaaaybe Adolf Hitler is a bad guy. So he might be related to Jimmy after all.

And then he has a heart attack!

And that’s it for Dr. Olsen. His unnamed assistant is summarily dismissed by Hitler.

And the assistant is revealed to be none other than Almost Doctor Doom.

Oh boy. More on that later. For now, let’s just acknowledge the awful editor’s note:

This is meant to signify that it was supposed to be obvious that the assistant was Doom? Why, because he was hiding his face and made reference to a lab accident? He was in less than half a dozen panels and did nothing interesting!!!
*groan*

Back to Stalin (I’m not going to check if really did not speak English).

Captain America: “Maybe our war-cry this time should be… okay Asgard, here we come!”
Spitfire: “And perhaps it should not!”
And you wonder why I hate Roy Thomas dialogues.

Also I get the feeling that he didn’t have a high opinion of the Human Torch because AGAIN he’s completely and utterly useless.

Even Spitfire hitting Thor’s ass with her crotch doesn’t do anything. Wait, what?

THEN THOR KILLS STALIN.

But then he hears Hitler ranting, thanks to the intervention of Doom.

Hitler is using the same device that brought Thor to Earth to materialize an army of trolls… so Doom blows up the machine.

So, uhm… yeah. Doctor Doom once worked for Hitler and then sabotaged his plans.
And surprisingly Red Skull didn’t hear about any off this!

Okay, I have been criticizing Roy Thomas this whole time, but this interaction between Doom and Hitler isn’t bad.
At least Doom’s Romani origins are acknowledged as incompatible with working with Nazis, and if there is one thing that would make him reluctantly seek their help is his quest to save his mother’s soul.

The dialogue is pretty clear in clarifying that this Doom is from WWII and doesn’t know about Hitler’s future. Even though he’s already figured out that it’s not going to end great for Adolf.

Presumably this is set before he goes to the monastery. More on that later.

But speaking of preserving the timeline: we still have the problem of Thor killing Stalin, right?

Yep! Thor has killed Union Jack. But don’t worry, he can resurrect him (WTF!?) by re-absorbing the lightning bolt that killed him. (double WTF!?)

Bonus: Union Jack gets electrical powers! He won’t keep them for long (mostly because this series was cancelled with #41).

And so Thor leaves, erasing the memory of his involvement from the minds of the Invaders. Because he can do that apparently.

Can you make me forget these issues as well, Thor? Please?

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MARVEL UNIVERS #2 (1998)
Written by Roger Stern
Pencils by Steve Epting
Cover by Dave Gibbons

The two Invaders story were completely ignored for twenty years. Until Roger Stern addressed them in this little-known gem.

The Invaders are trying to prevent Hydra from building the first atom bomb.

Meanwhile a Hydra base is infiltrated by a Nazi spy, who discovers that Hydra’s leader Baron Von Strucker knows more than he should.

Strucker discovers the spy, and he narrates how he obtained the books that tell the history of the near future.

His story begins with a mercifully short summary of the Invaders story we just saw.

However, there’s a twist. Remember that the Invaders story mentioned Doom suddenly vanishing?

Strucker touched the platform and was transported into the future.

Despite appearances he’s not in Latveria: this is Doom’s American castle from all the way back from his first story.

And that’s when Von Strucker learned that the Axis was going to lose the war.

A nice touch: a sort-of cameo by pre-FF Ben Grimm.

After gathering some history books, Strucker went back to the castle with the goal of going back home and change history.

That’s where he met Doctor Doom, presumably shortly before Fantastic Four #5 judging by his armor.

Stern does a little continuity fix: while in the Invaders story he was clearly from WWII, turns out that he didn’t kill Hitler because he knew he was going to die anyway.

He still allows Von Strucker to return to his time with knowledge of the future, because why not.

This is also a retcon about Von Strucker, who turns out began the creation of Hydra because he was already aware that the Nazis were going to lose.

Needless to say, he won’t succeed in creating his own atom bomb.

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Doom significance: 0/10
Like I said, the Roger Stern story is the only issue I know where Doom’s involvement with the Invaders is brought up. Fitting Thor’s appearance in WWII required him giving amnesia to everybody (which makes no sense: how does Union Jack think he got electric powers then!?), and having Doom being an adult in WWII was already flimsy in 1978.
Too bad that the revelation about Von Strucker knowing about the future is from this little-known story, because it would explain so much about Hydra!

Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Thor being an idiot. The machine having anything to do with Wagner’s opera. Thor being able to reverse the effects of a lightning bolt AND give amnesia. Need I go on?

Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Look… I know that Roy Thomas can be a good writer. I’ve read good stories by him; even if I typically can’t stand his dialogue, he can write a fantastic script.
But Invaders is often almost unreadable, and these issues are no exception.
I can’t praise Roger Stern enough (he’s one of my favorite writers), but these stories are better left forgotten.

Times Doom has tried to save his mother from Hell: 2
This is chronologically the earliest attempt we see.

 Times Doom has saved the world: 4
Well he DID stop Hitler from summoning an army of trolls, so that counts. Interestingly, considering that he saved the world from Red Skull twice, Doom has saved the world from Nazis three times already!