STRANGE TALES 122 (1964)
by Stan Lee & Dick Ayers
cover by Jack Kirby
Remember those losers that got powers from Doctor Doom in the awful Fantastic Four #23 ?
They’re back.
Well… at least you can’t say the cover is being dishonest.
Don’t remember those losers? There’s Handsome Harry, who has the power to hear things very well and to be kind of good looking.
There’s Yogi, whose mystic arts includes being fireproof and owning a super-car.
And there’s a guy who is stronger than a regular human but not as strong as the Thing.
I’m sure the Masters of Evil will ask them to join any day now.
Handsome Harry lays his trap to the Human Torch… showing up pretending to be a journalist for a sports car magazine.
Note that Johnny claims to have modified his car to include “positronic action”… meaning we’re dealing with a teenager with a sports car that RUNS ON ANTIMATTER.
Then the other two losers show up with asbestos rope and asbestos blanket. About time we got something new for the Cancer Count !
Okay now you’re spoiling me.
Johnny’s solution to break free is… actually kind of clever, I must admit!
SOMEHOW the losers don’t notice the fire truck that shows up to put out the fire (WTF!?), despite the fact they’re waiting inside the house because they want to ambush the Invisible Girl once she gets back home.
AND they don’t notice the Torch sneaking back inside to dry himself.
Okay, so round 2: the Human Torch against the fireproof guy!
I have no clue how THAT worked.
Handsome Harry demonstrates his superior intellect thanks to his clever tactic of “Look over there, it’s the Invisible Girl!”.
Okay, so the losers have just sprayed the Human Torch with a water gun; he’s without powers and completely surrounded.
How lame can these guys possibly get!?
Well Handsome Harry escapes by stealing the Torch’s car but gets captured because he drives into the nearest beach, so… yeah, this is probably rock bottom.
And so we end with the Human Torch being scolded by his sister because she thinks he trashed the house during a party.
Riveting stuff.
Historical significance: 0/10
The losers have a couple more appearances after the Silver Age, believe it or not, but come on.
Silver Age-ness: 8/10
Oh boy. On the DC scale this wouldn’t even be a 2/10, but… in addition to the losers being embarrassing on their own, once again we have the Human Torch being easily overpowered to an absurd degree, plus the sheer stupidity of the bad guys in general… yuck.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Props to the Human Torch for being marginally smarter than during the previous issues… but that’s an extremely low bar to clear.
Cancer count: 20
Adding asbestos rope, blanket and trailer. Can you believe the last time we had asbestos was Strange Tales 117 ?