JIMMY OLSEN 128 (1970)
by E. Nelson Bridwell & Pete Costanza
Remember that Jimmy had a happy ending with his adoptive father in Jimmy Olsen 124 ?
Well Superman isn’t going to stand for that!
Well Superman might be The Worst, but anything to avoid Jimmy Olsen being a millionaire.
Still no freaking idea of how old Jimmy is, but at least we have SOME parameter.
Also props to the comic for giving a two-panel summary of the important points for anyone who has not read issue 124.
But Superman shows up to say that Jimmy’s real father is still alive, thanks to some questionable proof provided by Lana Lang’s archeologist father (who oddly enough gets namedropped but doesn’t show up).
Jimmy Olsen’s ability to learn languages off-screen never ceases to amaze me.
And so we discover where Jimmy’s real father is… sitting on top of a Mayan temple wearing a golden armor. WTF!?
But wait, it gets even MORE ridiculous: it’s not gold, it’s Gold Kryptonite!
So that takes Superman out of the equation. Not that it matters since Jimmy and his adoptive father are able to sneak inside the temple and rescue Jimmy’s father immediately!
Is it just me or these guys are weirdly okay with Jimmy’s mother dying in a train crash?
Now… you might remember from issue 124 that Jimmy’s father was supposed to have died by falling off a Mayan temple. Well, turns out he was just unconscious and enacting a very racist trope: “the natives who find the white man worship him as a god”.
So let me get this straight… two white guys show up to steal your treasure, and:
A) the first one is a thief so you send him away with the treasure
B) the second one is a god because a meteor of gold landed when he was unconscious
Sounds legit.
The natives show up to beat up Jimmy. I would question why they don’t consider him a god as well, but… come on, it’s Jimmy Olsen.
That fall might not be enough to kill Jimmy, but the way his fall is drawn I have no idea how he avoided breaking his legs.
So we’re going to completely rewrite issue 124 at this point, right?
Jimmy has to decide whether the natives will kill his real father or his adoptive father.
He chooses his real father, and this happens:
I’m calling bulls#it. These guys consider Jimmy’s father a god, so why would they even threaten to throw him into the pit? Or for that matter, why didn’t they just believe their own god!?
They want to keep all the Olsen in their temple, but they change their mind when GOD SPEAKS.
This is all to get them to throw away their gold!
But that’s okay because the Gold Kryptonite is replaced with actual gold by Superman!
Now I know what’s the next comic I’m going to review.
Don’t make me regret this, comic.
And so we end with Jimmy Olsen having THREE fathers now.
Kinda.
So… this means that Superman is surrounded by two crazy stalkers who still have both parents (Lois and Lana), a superfan who has three fathers (Jimmy), and a cousin who has two mothers and two fathers (Supergirl)… no wonder his best friend is Batman, at this point he’s the only other orphan he knows!
Historical significance: 8/10
Jimmy’s real father is going to stick around, making a few appearances here and there.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Any story with Gold Kryptonite is pretty high on the scale, and this one has a literal mountain of it with no explanation.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Even if you excuse the racist undertones and the massive coincidences… this is not a good story.
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
You want to infiltrate a Mayan temple filled with hostile natives and you can’t rely on Superman because of the Gold Kryptonite? Okay, fine. You COULD take with you the Elastic Lad serum or any of the other “Superman souvenirs” that you know give you super-powers… or you could just think you don’t need any help.