METAL MEN 12 (1965)
by Robert Kanigher & Ross Andru
Is issue 12 too soon to celebrate the return of the villain from issue 1 ?
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Little known fact: the Beatles were big Metal Men fans.
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We also have the first instance of them sort of breaking the fourth wall.
It won’t be the last.
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Yes everyone loves the Metal Men… except apparently the army.
Also: since when do they run around in a car instead of their flying saucer!?
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They fight the tank by having Lead and Iron turn into a tank themselves!!!
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Despite surviving the attack, finding themselves the targets of more assaults they decide to just split the team. Wait, WHAT!?
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At least we have Ross Andru making the moment visually interesting by splitting the team into separate panels.
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Except Iron rebels, doing to Mercury what we have all been waiting to happen: punch his smug face!
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And then OUT OF NOWHERE the comic goes into a flashback of the Metal Men meeting the Missile Men again!!!
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You might remember that the Missile Men were built by a robot called Z-1, who had been exiled from his race. Guess what: the rest of them are coming to Earth!
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The Metal Men will have to save Earth by an alien invasion, so… we’re screwed.
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Well at least Doc is beginning to understand how useless Tin is.
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Okay having Lead and Iron intercept missiles makes a certain amount of sense, but Mercury because he’s used in dental implants!? WHAT!?
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Just take a wild guess who is going to be the most useful member of the team. AGAIN.
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Doctor Will Magnus, fighting FOR robophobia since 1962.
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Well what did you expect from a scientist who studies an alien robot WITH A STETHOSCOPE!?
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Your regular reminder that Doc is, in fact, immortal.
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Since the alien robots had been monitoring the lab, they are able to use Ross Andru artwork to create copies of the Metal Men.
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I’m not gonna lie, I legit want that thing as a poster.
This is when we end our flashback (I completely forgot we were in one, did you?) because this is the reason why the army has been after the Metal Men.
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Civil War this ain’t.
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I expected more from Andru, to be honest. This is rather dull.
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Yeah, despite their badass introduction, the Fake Metal Men go down immediately.
But then the Missile Men attack, resulting in Tina being knocked out by a bump on the head. (WTF!?)
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Last time the Missile Men were defeated by magnetizing them, so the solution is to make the Metal Men magnetic. Should be simple, right?
Right?
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And the Metal Men’s solution is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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I absolutely love the fact that the Metal Men have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER of what they are doing.
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So of course it works!
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Aaaand everybody except Tina is dead.
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Shocking, I know.
This is one of the rare issues where not only the Statement of Ownership is published, but it’s in a format that shows up clearly in a scan.
This series had an average of 410,000 issues printed, 4,100 subscriptions and 291,000 issues sold.
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So clearly we deserved to be destroyed by the Missile Men.
Metal Men significance: 0/10
You would expect the return of the first big villain to matter, but no.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Magnets. How do they work? Don’t ask the Metal Men!
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Even Ross Andru doesn’t seem to be really into it, this time.
Times Platinum has died: 9
Times Lead has died: 12
Times Mercury has died: 12
Times Gold has died: 12
Times Tin has died: 12
Times Iron has died: 13
And so the question arises – are the Beatles the most often-depicted rock group in Marvel/DC comics?
Probably. I don’t recall seeing them past 65/66, but there’s a ton of appearances and especially references in that period.