JIMMY OLSEN 162 (1974)
by Leo Dorfman & Kurt Schaffenberger
cover by Nick Cardy
“It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s… oh it’s Jimmy Olsen, nevermind!”.
Superman arrives too late to stop a robbery, and by analyzing the evidence if finds out that the robber was Jimmy himself.
Except Jimmy has an alibi.
Jimmy has a “complicated problem” that puts doctors to work for hours? Yeah that checks out.
I would’ve gone with a psychiatrist but hey, baby steps.
Dammit, I couldn’t even do the “guess the stupid twist” bit!!!
Jimmy Olsen, ladies and gentlemen.
Okay, NOW I get to do the bit. Who is the dead Jimmy Olsen?
A) a random lookalike
B) a Kandor lookalike
C) a clone
D) a shapeshifter
E) a robot
And the answer is PUT SOME PANTS ON!!!!
Clones are so common nowadays that it’s hard to remember they used to be a very rare sight.
What is the caption talking about? Here’s the New York Times from March 5th 1972.
Took me forever to find that article. The things I do for you people…
All that time and Lex didn’t even bother giving Jimmy 3 some pants!!!
Later Jimmy sees Superman steal some money and change into a phone booth.
I might have to do a deep dive into the origins of that trope.
As expected from the cover, Superman changes into Jimmy 3.
Although, unlike the cover, it’s not in super-speed.
Aaaand he’s dead.
You might wonder why Lex Luthor is wasting time with these small-time crimes.
It’s all in preparation for his next big thing:
When Lex tries to grow Jimmy 4, however, it turns out SUDDEN GORILLA!!!
The cells used by Lex were obviously taken from a zoo, and it turns out he had been blackmailing Jimmy’s dentist.
And so Superman exiles Lex in solitary confinement in OUTER SPACE.
I’m sorry, are you… are you trying to end on a serious note? On this story? In this series!?
Get outta here!!!
Historical significance: 0/10
We just discovered the secret to human cloning, so obviously this is never mentioned again. Also isn’t it just weird how DNA Project is never mentioned in this!?
Silver Age-ness: 8/10
There was an attempt to be slightly more realistic. Then we got the gorilla and the space prison.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Listen, either do a story about Jimmy being wrongly accused, or one about his clones running around, or about Lex Luthor burning the Declaration of Independence. Not all three at once!
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
That’s not how twins work, Jimmy.
It’s as though DC just ruled a line under Jack Kirby’s run and stated “None of this is canon. Except Darkseid. Darkseid is cool.”