Superboy and the LSH #246 (1978)
“Will the Last One to Leave Mercury Please Close the Planet?” by Paul Levitz, Len Wein & Joe Staton
“A World for the Winning!” by Len Wein & Joe Staton
cover by Mike Grell
Sun Boy is hot, but it’s Shadow Lass who gets to pose.
I’m a sucker for weird titles. The first story is no “Birthday cake for a cannibal robot”, but it’s a fun title.
We’ve actually already seen the beginning of the story: it’s the one that works as a coda of the awful Karate Kid series.
The Legion came to Mercury because they heard Karate Kid was there and thought he was injured; while they’re there, they are recruited on a mission to recover some missing scientists.
You might be surprised to learn that the surface of Mercury, while indeed absurdly hot, is not actually on fire. It kind of looks like the Moon.
They don’t find the scientists of Mercury. Just a giant robot made of plastic and therefore immune to the powers of Lightning Lad and Cosmic Boy… but the latter is slowly learning how not to suck as a hero, so he still thrashes the robot.
Except that’s not the kidnapper… it’s just the local help. Whoops.
We check on the Legionnaires later that night. Although it’s hot on Mercury, we need to add Shadow Lass to the list of Legionnaires who sleep wearing MORE than their regular costumes.
No wonder she catches cold!
Just kidding: there’s something causing the temperature controls to malfunction.
The Legionnaires investigate, but they’re not exactly reassuring.
Chameleon Boy insists the team investigates the hottest point of Mercury, which is apparently a valley of diamonds.
Sounds legit.
The place is so hot that only Sun Boy can manage to survive without a special suit. I especially like the one worn by the non-humanoid scientist.
All of this to get Sun Boy close to the destination…
…and to tell the native life form of Mercury, made of living heat (????), to please stop boiling people alive.
A cute if a bit meandering sci-fi self-contained story.
We begin the second story with a planet asking to be admitted to the United Planets…
…represented by the Fatal Five!
Turns out that, after their last appearance in #231, they ended up being worshipped as gods on a new planet.
The Legionnaires are naturally skeptic about the Fatal Five declaring they have reformed, but the planet seem to benefit greatly from their leadership… and from Tharok’s technology in particular.
Still, asking a planet that JUST got into the industrial age to join a federation of planets is a bit much. A bit condescending from the Legionnaires, sure, but still understandable.
So naturally this turns into a fight, because of course it does.
Element Lad manages to stop Emerald Empress by trapping her eye into a block of Inertron (!!!), but he decides the Legion can’t take on the Fatal Five and sends Superboy to ask for help.
The REAL reason, of course, is that this is a 9 page story and we’re already out of time.
Hate it when that happens.
Legion significance
First story: 0/10
Harmless fluff.
Second story: 0/10
Not exactly the most famous Fatal Five story out there.
Silver Age-ness
First story: 10/10
Aliens made of sentient heat!!!
Second story: 8/10
The fact that people believe FOR MORE THAN TWO SECONDS that the Fatal Five have reformed.
Does it stand the test of time?
First story: 6/10
A good sci-fi premise, if a bit goofy. But it probably needed more space to breathe and DEFINITELY better artwork.
Second story: 4/10
The concept of a villain ending up being worshipped on a planet that benefits from the situation to the point of redeeming him HAS been done, to Lex Luthor of all people. And I’m not saying it can’t be done with the Fatal Five… but this was just meandering.
We are legion
23 Legionnaires
6 reserve members