Dazzler #16 (1982)
by Danny Fingeroth & Frank Springer
cover by Bill Sienkiewicz
The Enchantress returns, and if we go by the cover she’s unleashing the Venom symbiote on Dazzler.
The series has been going into ridiculous fanservice for some time now, but the opening page is infamous among those who know this series.
That’s, uhm, that’s some Power Girl proportions there.
Two things of note: we are in Seattle now, and Dazzler has been fired because her act is more popular than who is supposed to be the main attraction of the concert.
Despite this, Dazzler gives the best performance of her life, and the crowd goes wild.
Jokes aside, even with the limitation that we can’t hear the music, this isn’t a bad scene.
And now her latest love interest Red Moustache comes back into her life.
I like this guy. He’s a bit of a goofball, but I can see him working out as the regular love interest.
What woman could possibly resist? Between the moustache and his profession, he’s both Matt Murdock AND Tony Stark.
You might be wondering: wasn’t this supposed to be a fight with the Enchantress? Well, on the plane back to New York…
…Dazzler is transported to Asgard!
Also: “the Mystified One” is now Dazzler’s official moniker.
After summarizing the first encounter with the Mystified One back in the first issue, Enchantress has a quick fix for Dazzler’s powers: a spell of silence.
This is totally a normal series, guys.
But this gets the attention of Heimdall, who being able to see everything hears the silence (WTF!?) and informs Odin thanks to the colors of the rainbow (double WTF!?).
Fingeroth, please, Norse mythology is already weird enough on its own, you don’t need to come up with new stuff!
(admittedly 90% of what I know about Norse mythology comes from Marvel, but I don’t think this messenger guy is a reference to anything)
Speaking of people that are NOT in Norse mythology, Odin sends the Warriors Three to deal with the Enchantress. Because typically that works out SO well in Thor stories.
I typically like the Warriors Three, but they’re completely wasted here. The only thing they do is ask Enchantress to go to the palace… couldn’t Odin just summon her!? Preeeeetty sure there wouldn’t be anything she could to to avoid obeying him.
For a second I had Immortus flashbacks, but this is Odin’s vizier, a minor Thor character.
Despite his ridiculous hat, the vizier has a point: why should Enchantress care if she was defeated by the Mystified One?
But I guess it gets boring in Asgard because he then orders a trial by combat.
He probably just wanted to see two hot women fight, because he makes sure to return Dazzler’s powers.
Which results in, you guessed it, a big dumb catfight.
This is totally a normal series, guys.
However Dazzler can recover enough to GO FOR IT! and unleash a “light fog”, whatever the heck that means.
If Enchantress though Dazzler had humiliated her before, well…
At least Fingeroth remembers that Asgardians are supposed to be way, WAY tougher than the people of Midgard*, so Dazzler didn’t accomplish much of anything.
(*Earth)
Dazzler does have one ace up her cleavage, though: nobody likes Enchantress, so she’s able to rally the rest of the Asgardians against her.
That gives Dazzler the chance to attack Enchantress with all her power!
Aaaaand she fails. What a shocker.
Thankfully Odin decided to wake from his nap and shows up to demand to know WTF is going on.
You and me both, dude.
This results in… and I can’t believe they’re actually doing this… a SINGING CONTEST between Enchantress and Dazzler.
Obviously Dazzler’s song is better because… uhm… because the writer says so, I guess?
Yep. Dazzler is such a great singer that LITERAL GODS give her awards.
And so we end with Dazzler returning to Midgard*, where she meets up with Red Moustache who has been looking for her at the airport since she disappeared from the plane.
(*Earth)
At least Red Moustache is more understanding of Dazzler’s superhero shenanigans than Doctor McDreamy, so they end up together.
Dazzler significance: 0/10
As far as superhero rivalries go, Dazzler vs Enchantress is not exactly memorable.
Silver Age-ness: 8/10
On the Marvel scale, sure, but a singing contest saves the day!
Does it stand the test of time? 5/10
The fact that this might be the best written Dazzler issue so far it not exactly high praise, but it is efficient and keeps the ridiculousness at an almost acceptable level.
GO FOR IT!: 14
Obligatory underwear shot: 20
Superhero fans: 18
Obviously they’re not superheroes, but the fact that Odin and Volstagg are so moved by Dazzler’s voice that it would be a shame not to count them.
Speaking of the other Warriors Three, I’m not counting Hogun since we don’t see his reaction and… well he’s Hogun, even if he loved it you wouldn’t be able to tell.
I’m also not counting Fandral either: he’s not shown to react either and… well he’s Fandral, of course he’d be in love regardless.