Dazzler #17 (1982)
by Danny Fingeroth & Frank Springer
I don’t know if Dazzler was struggling with sales at the time, but if she wanted a boost thanks to the X-Men… she probably chose the wrong mutant.
We begin with Dazzler and her current boyfriend Red Moustache on a date, which is interrupted by muggers because they are contractually obligated to show up in any New York date.
But at least this time she’s not useless, although she still has to use the radio to power up.
Once home, Dazzler gets a letter from Spider-Woman to inform her about the investigation about her mother. Specifically, to tell her she has nothing to report.
The subplot about Dazzler’s mother is bound to come up at any time, right? I mean it’s not like she’s wearing her brooch just to show off her cleavage, that was already happening.
Also she gets a job by singing into a phone for like five seconds.
Sounds legit.
We also meet a new supporting character, vocalist Vanessa. She’ll be around for a few issues.
It’s been a while since we’ve seen Dazzler’s father. He seems more calm than usual.
Angel shows up at about a third of the story and holy crap is that a bad first impression.
For once, Dazzler gets it right the first time!
Honestly he’s lucky he doesn’t get a laser blast to the nuts.
But this is still under the Comics Code, so all he shows her are his wings.
I’m not the biggest Angel fan… in fact I find him immensely boring… so I’m kind of enjoying Dazzler constantly shooting him down.
If you think I’m being too harsh on Angel… the next thing he does is disguise himself as a waiter and interrupt a date between Dazzler and Red Moustache!!!
Yeah this genius move has “rich a-hole” written all over, Angel.
Yet more reasons for why Red Moustache is actually a good character: he’s not jealous of the stalker harassing his girlfriend!
Yeah sure, just add KIDNAPPING to stalking… I’m sure now she’ll fall head over heels for you, Angel.
I WAS KIDDING!!!!
Yep. She goes on a date on the guy who stalked her on multiple occasions and kidnapped her.
That’s going to age well!!!
But then OUT OF ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE the date is interrupted by Doctor Octopus, of all people!!!
Aaand Angel then forces Dazzler to get into the hero business even when she’s clearly stressing multiple times that she wants no part in this. Which is both pretty accurate for an X-Man and very, very scummy.
Is anyone reading this NOT rooting for Doc Ock to split these two idiots!?
This might be the most embarrassing defeat in Doc Ock’s career…
…but he does put up a decent enough fight, considering he’s blind for most of it.
But the unlikely mutant couple ends up defeating him anyway.
Angel… you just can’t take a hint, isn’t it?
In fact he’s such a creep that he finds Spider-Woman’s letter from earlier, and decides to investigate himself the disappearance of Dazzler’s mother.
At least we won’t see Angel again until issue 19. Not exactly looking forward to him.
Dazzler significance: 4/10
Unfortunately Angel sticks around.
Silver Age-ness: 4/10
Lois Lane would totally fall for this kind of admirer, isn’t it? Heck Angel isn’t even a tenth of the stalker she used to be in the 60s!
Does it stand the test of time? -5/10
Yeah this has aged horribly. And for once it’s not Dazzler’s fault… well, mostly, since she does entertain his antics to get Red Moustache jealous.
But she’s clearly not interest in Angel and very uncomfortable with his stalker behavior, which he seems to think he can get away with because he’s rich. Despite his insistence, the two don’t have anything in common! The fact that he seems to think he’s a better potential boyfriend than Red Moustache because he’s a mutant like Dazzler also has… unfortunate implications.
All in all this is a TERRIBLE Angel, and I’m not exactly looking forward to dealing with this doofus again.
Super love interests: 5
Obviously adding Angel.
Obligatory underwear shot: 24
Wasn’t he dating Candy Southern?
There’s a scene I didn’t cover where he mentions they just split up.
The Angel, much like the Beast, routinely forgot he had a serious girlfriend. To be fair, the beast was worse about it.
I got a bit more respect for Dazzler for picking Ken over Angel. Unlike her doctor boyfriend, Ken had some depth and wasnt a classical “looker”.
To be honest, I never really understood how Doc Ock could take punches from Spider-man. The Angel punching him out seems more realistic.
To be fair, Doc Ock typically goes down at the first good punch Spidey manages to land; from my understanding, it’s just that his tentacles are too difficult to avoid, even for Spidey, to always land a decent punch.
And yeah, Red Moustache isn’t a bad character as a love interest! He does have some good chemistry with Dazzler, certainly more than Angel.
Your coverage on Dazzler is great. This comic is so bad that reads like a parody. I bought a dazzler marvel masterworks (???) on sale this week because of you. Comedy gold.
I don’t know whether to say thank you or sorry for making you spend money on Dazzler, but you definitely made my day 🙂
I think you people are being a little hard on me. Try to see this matter from my perspective. I am A) The most handsome man alive. B) Worth several billions. C) Endowed with a pair of massive, fully-functional, beautiful, organic wings. D) A charter member of not just one, but TWO world-league super-teams which have saved the Earth from total destruction several dozen times mover. E) The proud wearer of easily the sharpest superhero outfit ever designed- by my arch-foe Magneto, no less! So- why CAN’T I have a little fun with a fellow mutant Babasaurus Rex??? I have assisted in the salvation of this planet so many times, I’ve lost count!! So what has Ken the Red Moustache Man ever done for Humanity, or anybody, for that matter-?? Doesn’t Alison understand what all I can DO for her, and her career-??? If she wants to be the next Donna Summer, I have the proper Hollywood connections to make that happen! If she for some reason gets wise, and decides on a career in Law, I can make that happen, too! If she wants to join a super-team and join the good fight for Humanity and Mutantkind-hey, I know EVERYBODY in THAT business!!! So, in all fairness to myself, I think Alison’s rejection of me in favor of that redheaded dork with the moustache probably wasn’t the best career move she could made. I mean, Mrs. Alison Worthington could have quite literally written her own ticket in this world! Between my wealth and connections, and her looks and talent, she could have totally conquered this world! ( I mean, in the honest sense of the phrase ) So whatever happened to Alison, anyway-?? Where is she today?? Did she ever make it as an entertainer?? Where is she-?? Haven’t seen her mentioned in ‘Variety” lately! Haven’t seen her mentioned ANYWHERE, lately!! Oh, well, maybe by the time she’s sixty-five or seventy, Disco will make a comeback. Guess I’ll just fly on home to my beautiful Betsy, now…………………..
We love your modesty, Warren 😀