X-Men Unlimited #32

After its cancellation, the Dazzler series was seemingly forgotten by everyone: you’re lucky if you find a single reference to its events.

But there is one story that recaps (almost) the entire series, so as a sort of appendix to the Dazzler retrospective let’s see how much it gets right.

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X-Men Unlimited #32 (2001)
by Will Pfeifer & Jill Thompson

As far as I can tell, Will Pfeifer is credited writing 5 stories at Marvel and Jill Thompson is credited with penciling 8 stories, one of which she also wrote.

If we go by the cover, Kitty Pryde and Jubilee are Dazzler fans. Sadly they don’t appear within the comic so I can’t add Jubilee to the list of super-fans.

One of the things to keep in mind is that this story is quite tongue-in-cheek: according to the captions, it’s treated as a “music special”.

Also, at the very end of the story a caption will inform us that “some liberties were taken during the production of Dazzler: Beyond The Music” (the caption’s format wouldn’t make it clearly visible in my review, but trust me it’s there).
That’s because the vast majority of the story will be narrated as a TV special.

A TV special that is being watched by the Hulk in a bar, of all people!!

That being said, since this story takes it upon itself to recap the entire Dazzler series, I will be keeping track of how many things it gets right and how many mistakes or retcons it makes.
Starting off, her relationship with her father tracks. As is the INSANE fact that she graduated summa cum laude.
Good continuity: 2

Buuuut it treats her father’s comments as if he was being interviewed during the special, while he died at the very end of the series.
You COULD interpret this as being recorded when he was alive, but he wasn’t balding and didn’t have grey hair when he died.
Bad continuity: 1

Dazzler’s school flashback from Dazzler #1 is shown, including the gang she stopped. It even gets the random gang name right!
Good continuity: 4

A great addition is showing that some people still suffer the effects of Dazzler’s first use of her powers.

You may remember that the club where Dazzler played in her first story looked much worse than her typical venues. That’s specified as her first gig in “the depths of show business”, plus it’s acknowledged that she had to turn down the club’s owner.
Good continuity: 5

Nightcrawler was indeed in the club in that story, and Wolverine wasn’t.
Good continuity: 6

The comic also references Dazzler getting her next audition because the singer was sick (it’s even the same exact sentence on the newspaper) AND that it was thanks to Beast that she got the news.
That’s a terrible drawing of Beast (what’s up with his ankle!?), but I guess we can’t have everything.
Good continuity: 8

 We get the competition with the Enchantress from Dazzler #1, plus the confirmation that Dazzler ended up ruining the career of those who hired her. I’m beginning to sense a trend.
Good continuity: 9

With so much good stuff, there’s the BAFFLING decision to have a commercial with X-Men villain Blob declaring he’s lost weight… a decision so insane that it’s explicitly called out as out of continuity with the aforementioned caption from the last page.
Beast having had a brief romantic with Dazzler in Beauty and the Beast is at least correct.
At this point Beast wasn’t in the Avengers, but I can buy him hanging out with Hawkeye.
Good continuity: 10
Bad continuity: 2

Dazzler’s first manager makes a cameo. I just wish the idea that he almost was Spider-Man’s manager was explored in the series itself, since Spidey DID have a couple of team-ups with Dazzler.
Good continuity: 11

The special confirms that Dazzler defeated Doctor Doom, which I count as wrong since there is absolutely NO WAY their fight was known to the public. Or at the very least its ending.
Bad continuity: 3

Quasar was indeed flirting with Dazzler in issue #9, but WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIS MOUTH!?
Good continuity: 12

The story recalls when Dazzler seemingly murdered Klaw in the same storyline… but then it goes completely off the rails in the resolution, because Dazzler definitely didn’t win the case because “Klaw isn’t really alive”. She won because she convinced the jury humans couldn’t judge a mutant (which is… legally problematic to say the least).
Good continuity: 13
Bad continuity: 4

The story picks up the pace by summarizing several issues while Hulk is in the bathroom.
Good continuity: 17

By far the funniest joke in the entire story. This literally made me laugh out loud.

Dazzler’s kind-of rival Bruce Harris and Odin have wildly different opinions of her talents.
Good continuity: 19

I have to say that this recap makes the original series sound better than it actually was.
Good continuity: 20

Having Michael Jackson stand-in Teddy Lingard from Dazzler #33 show up as completely nuts in the present day is a stroke of genius.
Good continuity: 21

Speaking of insane people from that story: the director who was blowing up the cast for publicity is still in prison!
Good continuity: 22

Unfortunately Dazzler really DID have a relationship with Roman Nekoboh in the AWFUL Dazzler: The Movie, although he looked nothing like this.
Good continuity: 23

The idea that the copy Dazzler destroyed at the end of that story is a bit questionable, considering the circumstanced behind it. At least it’s an opportunity to see one of it’s scenes!
I don’t even like musicals, but I would sure watch that movie.
Bad continuity: 5

Bizarrely, the story COMPLETELY skips the Archie Goodwin run… even though it was BY FAR its best part!!!
That’s not just a pity: since it doesn’t reference Dazzler losing her father or being considered dead…
Bad continuity: 6

 

I still have no idea what kind of music Dazzler plays, but I’d listen to her tribute band “Dazz and the Lite Brites”.

I draw the line at watching a Broadway show. As does the Watcher, but WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIS FACE!?

And that’s it! We close with a reference to Dazzler’s then-present status: she had left the X-Men to live in the Mojoworld dimension with her love interest Longshot…

…and taking care of the X-Babies. Who, as the name suggests, are the baby versions created by Mojo to star in their own TV show.
How the heck would the producers of the special know!?
Bad continuity: 7

I draw the line at watching a TV show about the X-Babies.

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The final continuity score is OVERWHELMING positive.
Good continuity: 22
Bad continuity: 7

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Dazzler significance: 1/10
One one hand, it’s the very last appearance of almost every minor Dazzler character. On the other hand its continuity is questionable at beast, and IT’S DAZZLER.

Silver Age-ness: 8/10
Almost more than the original series. Almost.

Does it stand the test of time? 7/10
This is basically a love letter to the first half of the Dazzler series. I wonder how many people were convinced by this story to check it out and were later disappointed by how lame most of it was.
As an advertisement for that series, it does its job remarkably well… although I’m disappointed it doesn’t show any love to the Goodwin run. If anything, the recap makes the series sound more fun than it actually was!
On the other hand… the artwork is pretty bad in most pages, and then there’s the continuity.
I don’t expect anyone who hasn’t reviewed every single issue to care, and to be honest most of my complains are nitpicking… but then there are a couple of unforgivable problems.
Was it really necessary to have the documentary interview Doctor Doom, Odin and Enchantress? Or to have the Watcher comment? Or even worse, having an absolutely out of nowhere Blob appearance that is SO out of continuity it’s explicitly called out?
Those moments really took me out of an otherwise enjoyable trip through memory lane.