World’s Finest #222 (1974)
by Bob Haney & Dick Dillin
cover by Nick Cardy
If this was anyone else writing, I’d think there was a catch. But Bob Haney probably WOULD write Batman like this.
Also: Superman Junior is not supposed to be able to fly, but he clearly does on the cover.
We begin with some explorers discovering DC’s version of the Savage Land.
I don’t know if it’s the quality of the scans, but for most of the issue the people of Fanservice Island are colored almost orange. It’s not particularly bad in the first panel, though.
This is the topic of a TV show that is apparently quite popular. I guess this is making news because these people were found right next to Antarctica; “primitive” civilizations like this also exist in the real world, and they don’t seem to get this much attention.
The discovery is being discussed with… well I guess he’s either an anthropologist or a philosopher… who uses them as an example that humans are inherently good.
Only for a different guy to argue that humans actually suck.
This philosophical dispute appeals to the Super-Sons, who naturally take opposing sides.
This might be the first time the Super-Sons get a plot that suits them better than their parents, because it delves into what kind of kids the two heroes raised.
Although I don’t think Batman wanted his son to grow QUITE this cynical.
What better way to solve this age-old dispute about the nature of mankind than figuring out who pays for dinner.
Why is there a fence on Fanservice Island? Is… is the philosopher caging his subjects?
Also, WTF does karate have to do with anything!?!?
Especially since they DON’T need to interact with them in order to study their society… Superman Junior helps the other philosopher to place cameras everywhere.
Well maybe I’m being too harsh on the “people suck” philosopher. It’s not like he’s going to do something that would most definitely be illegal everyone else, like ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!?
Leaving aside the morality of this experiment (I’ll get back to it, trust me)… WTF is this supposed to prove!? That if you poke people with something that puts them under stress… they’ll get stressed!? YOU DON’T SAY!!!
Where the heck did they get this guy!?!?
Batman Junior is 100% on board with those idiotic experiments, by the way.
AT LEAST Superman Junior is still the good guy!
Yeah no matter what you think of the underlying philosophical question, it’s basically impossible to root for Batman Junior.
Oh good, he’s also a xenophobe.
He’s crossed into supervillain territory now. He even helps the philosopher introduce into the environment insects that would ruin the crops!!!
BATMAN JUNIOR JUST HELPED CREATE FOOD SHORTAGE.
There’s being a nepo baby and there’s being a psycho!!!
This guy doesn’t raise any red flags with you, Bats Junior? NONE AT ALL!?!?
NOPE!!!
When Batman Junior confronts the guy who dared to… checking my notes… be a good leader, we get THIS.
Why aren’t YOU freaking out!?!?
Superman Junior tries to knock some sense into his friend, but he’s kept away from the grenades the philosopher brought to deal with the natives.
Yes. This guy brought FREAKING GRENADES to deal with UNARMED PEOPLE.
Still no red flags apparently!!!
That’s enough to keep Superman Junior occupied long enough to go back to experiment on natives.
It’s not hyperbole to consider this torture, right?
AND IT JUST KEEPS GOING!!!
Is Batman Junior finally, on PAGE FIFTEEN, seeing any red flag!?
NOPE!!!
After torturing the guy, they finally take him back to his people…
…aaaaand it was all for nothing.
The guy gets thrown into boiling lava for all his idiocy.
GREAT JOB, BATMAN JUNIOR!!!
Oh but we’re not done!!! Because:
A) Superman Junior saw everything and let the guy die
B) Batman Junior, despite being the accomplice to the torture, is suddenly the guy lecturing about punishing the guilty!!!
Also I remind you that we had a universal translator available THE WHOLE TIME, but Batman Junior didn’t know because he didn’t talk to Superman Junior.
Confronted with this sad truth, Batman Junior reconsiders his actions and accepts his guilt in this whole ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!?!
Batman Junior would MURDER THIS GUY if it wasn’t for the delayed effect of the explosives set by the philosopher.
So you ALSO ruined this entire society. YOU GUYS SUCK.
The guy who Batman Junior wanted to kill ends up sacrificing his life to save Bats.
Superman Junior suggests that “science” will be able to return the island to his previous status, and we’re left with the original question: is mankind inherently good?
Well mankind created this story, so…
Historical significance: 0/10
Saved from a negative score ONLY because the actual Batman never shows up.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Does it stand the test of time? -75/10
Negative scores are reserved with stories with negative messages, and tied with the worst of the worst I have ever reviewed. At least Superman Junior SLIGHTLY balances things with a more positive attitude; I wouldn’t have minded having Batman Junior being more cynical, but NOT TURNING HIM INTO THE VILLAIN!!!
Did Superman really need Batman? 
Wow. That was a truly abominable story.
What Editor at DC let this Trainwreck see the light of day?
Haney must have had compromising photos of them in a safe deposit box with instructions to send them to all the newspapers if his story didn’t get published.
I remember reading this issue when it came out, and, while it certainly doesn’t stand the test of time, I think it was one of the first comic book stories I read in which the heroes engaged in a philosophical debate. It was very interesting that no matter what Benson threw at Oonak, this “simple savage” refused to take the bait. I think that part of the story still holds up.
I also think this issue is one of the reasons I’ve always preferred Superman to Batman. Their very different worldviews are strongly expressed through their sons.
This…thing beats that WF with the Androids!
Who the f#ck greenlighted this abomination?