SON AWARDS

Because I haven’t suffered enough, let’s go through the Super-Sons one final time.
I am NOT including World’s Finest #263 despite being the epilogue, since it’s arguably not the same serial anyway.

First let’s have a look at the scores for the entirety of the serial:

Historical significance: 0/10
Yeah even leaving aside the epilogue that makes everything even more pointless… this serial has basically no impact whatsoever.
There are other series with A son of Superman and A son of Batman, sure, but mercifully they don’t take anything from this crap.

Silver Age-ness: 1,000/10
Some issues reach insane high scores… heck the first Super-Sons story is currently at the top of the Silver Age-ness with a score of five times infinity… but even if no other individual issues reach that, holy crap is this a Silver Age serial!!!

Does it stand the test of time? 0/10

So, without further ado… please pray for me: here are the SON AWARDS.

BEST LEAST WORST HERO

Winner: Lex Luthor from World’s Finest #238
Yes, he’s the one who put Lexor in danger. But unlike the Super-Sons HE SAVES THE WORLD, even if it can cost him the love of his planet and his daughter.

Runner-up: Flash and Green Arrow, tie
Keep in mind that the Flash and Green Arrow that show up in the VAST majority of World’s Finest #231 are only Superman and Batman in disguise, and I’m not talking about them.
The real Scarlet Speedster and Not Hawkeye do show up briefly towards the end, though, and they manage to not do anything embarrassing. Besides being in a Super-Sons story.

Third place: Ardora Luthor from World’s Finest #238
She DID break him out of jail, true, but she thought he had been wrongly accused AND she was acting to save her planet… even if her mother basically abandoned her at birth for being a girl.
To nobody’s surprise, she did a better job at saving Lexor than the Super-Sons.

Honorable mention: Alfred Pennyworth from World’s Finest #215
He tried to stop Batman Junior from starting his career in the very first Super-Sons story! He tried to save us all.
Truly the hero we needed by didn’t deserve.

WORST HERO

Winner: Batman Junior
Where do I even begin with this guy!?
He’s arrogant without the skill to back him up, he thinks he’s God’s gift to women but doesn’t seem to get any, he’s smugly bossy towards his supposed best friend, he doesn’t have the slightest clue about what it means to be a hero, he completely misunderstands Batman’s motivations, and what else? Oh that’s right, he TRIED TO MURDER A GUY HE PREVIOUSLY TORTURED and he VOLUNTEERED TO HELP MASS STARVATION AND POTENTIAL GENOCIDE.
He’s not just the worst hero I have EVER reviewed, but THE WORST PERSON I EVER REVIEWED who is not literally Adolph Hitler.

Runner-up: Superman Junior
Compared to his heterosexual life partner, he’s not AS bad… and sometimes stands up to his idiocy… but far too often goes along with whatever Batman Junior comes up with, no matter how dumb it is.

Third place: Superman and Batman, tie
These guys are just terrible, TERRIBLE parents. They’re constantly belittling their sons and utterly refuse to train them in any way!

Dishonorable mention: Robin
He only shows up in World’s Finest #228, where he’s nearly as ineffective as Batman Junior… but he gets this spot because he spends the majority of the story angry and confused at the idea that Bruce Wayne didn’t put his Batman identity in his will. Why would he do that!?!?

BEST LEAST WORST VILLAIN

Winner: Omar Benson from World’s Finest #222
This Lex Luthor lookalike is on a mission to prove that humanity is a race of monsters unworthy of salvation that is an abomination in the eyes of the universe.
Well humanity DID produce the story he’s in, so in the end he’s proven right.

Runner-up: Sybil from World’s Finest #233
This monster from outer space with body dysmorphia has an interesting premise. Which has basically nothing to do with the plot, but at least it’s SOMETHING.

Third place: The Bullwhip Queen from World’s Finest #242
Look, she has absolutely nothing to do with the story. But a Wild West sadistic psychopath that has her own crew of bloodthirsty assassins, who gets to live a century of depravity killing off an entire town? Why isn’t THAT amazing concept in a better story?

Honorable mention: Dr. Zamm from World’s Finest #224
I still don’t trust this comic: maybe he didn’t do anything nefarious THIS time, but I refuse to believe this guy is not a supervillain.

WORST VILLAIN

Winner: Rocco Krugge from World’s Finest #215
The very first Super-Sons villain gets to die twice: both the real one and the temporal double die by tripping over a grave.

Runner-up: Hunab Ku from World’s Finest #230
This guy gets magic powers (for basically no reasons) and uses them to isolate himself and his daughter in the jungle. The daughter he’s belittling and smacking around… I get some seriously creepy vibes from this one and don’t want to know what he DID with his daughter.

Third place: Tempo Unlimited from World’s Finest #231
A worldwide delivery service that decides to take over the world by inventing weather-controlling technology and causing a global catastrophe. Because THAT is a better way to make money than, I don’t know, CONTROLLING THE WEATHER FOR MONEY!?

Dishonorable mention: B10-X7 from World’s Finest #224
The cyborg that has a change of heart and kills himself OFF-PANEL to save the day.

BEST LEAST WORST STORY

Winner: World’s Finest #230
Still a bad story that even Curt Swan’s artwork can’t save… but it DOES have some really pretty Curt Swan artwork, and I’ll take what I can get.

Runner-up: World’s Finest #238
I can’t stress this enough: there are no “good” Super-Sons stories. That being said, Luthor and his daughter are shockingly compelling and outdo the Juniors in any conceivable way.

Third place: World’s Finest #233
No, seriously, there ARE no “good” Super-Sons stories! So even if the story is idiotic and it’s arguably the one where the Juniors are the most ineffective, this one DOES have a few almost competent horror moments here and there. Kind of ruined by the Juniors being, well, the Juniors.

Honorable mention: World’s Finest #224
The only story to at least TRY addressing the fact that Superman and Batman hate their sons. It doesn’t work at fixing the problem, AT ALL, but still.

WORST STORY

Winner: World’s Finest #222
A pity because this is basically the only story that explores the different ways the two Juniors were educated… but it decides that Batman Junior is THE WORST PERSON EVER and it grows worse every single panel. I always find new ways this story pisses me off; I didn’t even mention Batman Junior’s racism!!!

Runner-up: World’s Finest #231
The only reason this doesn’t win is that, unlike the previously mentioned #222, this one doesn’t include the attempted murder of a person that the hero tortured OR the hero intentionally causing mass starvation.
It does, however, have one of the dumbest premises I have ever witnessed… the Juniors managing to convince a jury that Superman and Batman must be “condemned for playing hero”.

Third place: World’s Finest #215
Setting the tone for the rest of the serial, the first Super-Sons story might be hilarious… but never forget it’s an awful, awful story.

Dishonorable mention: World’s Finest #228
Shame on you for making Robin almost as stupid as the Juniors. Not to mention the story has BARELY anything left for Superman to do.