My Greatest Adventure #81 (1963)
written by Arnold Drake & Bob Haney
pencils by Bruno Premiani
Thanks for the clarification, Negative Man. Otherwise it would’ve been hard to see the skyscraper-sized woman.
We begin with the team being already famous enough to be on the cover of a magazine.
Notice that, while Negative Man stuck as a name from the beginning, the rest of the team is currently going through different aliases.
I’m still going to call them Elasti-Girl and Robotman, but I have to wonder: why the change?
Was “Elasti-Woman” thought to make her sound too old, maybe?
I don’t have to guess why they didn’t stick with “Automaton”.
The name sucks.
I still don’t get why Elasti-Girl is grouped with the “misfits”. She’s on the cover of a magazine being called a hero, is she a misfit just because they’re not using her real name!?
Chief then sends them on a mission to rescue a submarine, a mission that requires a giant tank and a giant mask for Elasti-Girl.
Which raises several questions… I understand the tank could’ve been made for a different use, but did Chief already have a giant breathing mask just laying around?
And more importantly, why can she make her clothes grow but not at least the mask?
The team gets to the place, and Elasti-Girl dives in.
In the previous issue she said she was an Olympian swimmer, so it does make extra sense to make her work in the water.
Scenes like this one really showcase Premiani’s artwork. From the currents to Elasti-Girl’s hair moving, it’s one of the best underwater scenes of the era.
You’d expect Robotman to be the powerhouse of the team, but nope! Quite unusual for the Silver Age.
That is one huge seashell, but not as huge as SUDDEN OCTOPUS!!!
Elasti-Girl’s reaction? THROW A TORPEDO AT IT.
Dude, you’re in the Silver Age. Trust me, this does not even break into the Top 100 Weirdest Things That Happened.
Robotman didn’t see the monster, and neither did Chief. I’m beginning to sense a flaw in having just Robotman carry around a camera.
Next, the Doom Patrol is sent to Canada to deal with a town hit by a snowslide. And once again, Elasti-Girl is the star.
Tell me again why she’s considered a misfit? The people don’t seem to have a problem with her!
Then the place is attacked by a giant snow monster, which Robotman can’t see either.
Negative Man takes care of it.
Giant monsters: 0
Giant explosions: 2
Since the X-Men debuted shortly after the Doom Patrol, it’s worth to point out that when the mutants save the day they’re typically attacked by the people they protect. The Doom Patrol doesn’t seem to have that problem, at least for now.
Obviously something’s wrong with Robotman…
…who FOR NO REASON decides it’s because Chief messed with his brain.
It’s very interesting to see that Robotman’s suicidal tendencies were there from the very beginning. Not surprising considering his situation, but it’s wild that DC let him say it.
Chief has no clue about those giant monsters, but thankfully Plot Convenience News Network is on the case.
Robotman is randomly skeptical of this explanation, but it turns out his memory is as damaged as his vision.
Robotman gets the idea to check the newspapers, but they’re also disagreeing with his memory.
The situation is pretty dire for Robotman, but Chief comes up with a truly bonkers idea: what if Robotman is right and THE REST OF THE WORLD is wrong?
He bases this on absolutely no clue whatsoever, mind you. He doesn’t even try testing Robotman’s brain or anything.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, is when the story turns bonkers.
Yes.
Now.
Starting from the fact that the scientist explaining the monsters on TV is a Nazi.
How the heck did the Nazis lose if they had a device that could make the entire world see what the Nazis wanted!?!?
Also: this story was published 18 YEARS after the end of the war, but the scientist only NOW decides to use it!?!?
To recap, THIS was this guy’s plan.
1) create a device that can create mass illusions
2) do absolutely nothing with it for 18 years.
3) make people believe a meteor crashed with aliens inside
4) go to the middle of the ocean
5) make people believe a giant monster is appearing
6) go to Canada
7) make people believe a giant monster is appearing
8) make people believe there’s an alien invasion. Ignore how people already believed there were aliens coming to Earth at points 5 and 7
9) make people believe your machine defeated the aliens
10) be considered a hero to the world
11) ???
12) world domination!
The Doom Patrol investigates the place where the Nazi told people there’s going to be an invasion. And they’re the only ones there, since nobody would be interested to check out an alien invasion.
But it’s a good thing they’re there, because otherwise they wouldn’t have noticed a vital clue… a vandalized poster. Yes, REALLY.
Turns out Chief didn’t recognize the Nazi because now he has a moustache.
As for HOW the Nazi’s machine works… apparently it can send images into human brains via radio, and Robotman is immune because of his metal skull.
Sounds legit.
Alright, to be fair to the story, people DID show up for the invasion. They’re just late.
When Janus said he was going to fake saving the world from an invasion, I thought he meant from alien ships.
Would the world REALLY need him, or even superheroes, to deal with ONE giant lizard?
It’s not even Godzilla!!!
Since the monster isn’t real, Robotman should be fine.
OR NOT!!!
Actually, it’s all part of the illusion. Everyone else is seeing Robotman fighting the lizard, but he’s really fighting Elasti-Girl.
Robotman’s solution is to break the cables from a nearby tower, using them to disrupt the radio waves that are carrying the illusion.
I don’t know, Robotman, I understand it’s very dangerous technology but I would’ve kept it around.
Historical significance: 0/10
The Nazi never shows up again, and the codenames are dropped.
Silver Age-ness: 8/10
It was extremely low, possibly even a 0/10, until we got that bonkers plot and invention.
Does it stand the test of time? 8/10
Give a more believable explanation for the machine’s origins and how it works, and you can basically do 90% of this story today without touching a thing.
Drop the “secret Nazi identity because of a beard”… that was dumb.
Issues when Robotman is not damaged: 1
The idea of the one man that appears to be suffering from mental disorder actually being the one who sees things clearly and sanely is a very Doom Patrol idea. The one that really sets them apart from other DC teams.
Now that I think about it, compared to their counterpart the X-Men who became a metaphor for racial and sexual minorities and oppressed people, the Doom Patrol instead turns around people who suffer from deep trauma, both physical and psychic, as well as mental illnesses or disorder. Most of the time they are the only one who can deal with phenomenas that defy and break reason, and their adventures are some of the most psychedelic in comics.
This is a great story. Cliff’s concerns that the Chief screwed up his brain transplant ring true, since this is only the second D.P. story – and , of course, nobody had ever done it before, so the Chief’s confidence could be misplaced. This idea would have fallen flat later in the run.
Rita is a wonderful character; a real feminist before the term was even coined. The powerhouse of the team, smart and creative, while treating her partners as equals.
I noticed that Cliff was in one piece at the end of the story! That made me think: Archeologist, maybe you would like to run a count: “Times Robotman doesn’t get mangled: 1”.
Again, the makers of the recent TV series (perhaps feeling as you do) made Rita a *lot* more disgusting. (I’m still a little surprised they went with Danny the Street.)
The Nazi actually does get referenced again, in Doom Patrol #94, where the main antagonist is his son. So this story probably deserves at least a 0.5/10 for historical significance.