My Greatest Adventure #82

My Greatest Adventure #82 (1963)
by Arnold Drake & Bruno Premiani

Poor Robotman isn’t safe even on the covers.

We begin with the Doom Patrol being honored at a fancy dinner.
Kind of cruel to Robotman… I assume he can’t eat, right?

It’s important to note that, while the three superheroes are public figures now, Chief is still a complete mystery for the public.

I knew offering dinner to Robotman would just make him mad.

The official reason behind the fancy dinner was to donate 5,000 dollars to the Doom Patrol that they could then give to their favorite charity. Kind of superfluous considering Chief is supposed to be incredibly rich!
But the REAL reason is to recover the golden lighter they gave Elasti-Girl…

…and use its hidden camera to expose Chief. That’s pretty clever!

I’m not entirely sure this holds up with future issues, where Chief turns out to have been a rather famous scientist.

We now discover why Chief didn’t want to expose his identity: he’s an alien!

Turns out Chief was from an alien science expedition in order to find another civilization capable of nuclear power.

By sheer dumb luck, he just happened to be nearby Earth when Enrico Fermi’s team successfully achieved the first atomic chain reaction.

And then Chief’s ship was blown up.

And that’s why Chief is so rich: he sold advanced alien technology.
I guess his planet has no Prime Directive.

This is one of those moments where having the Doom Patrol not yet integrated with the rest of the DC Universe helps the story.
Because sure, the Doom Patrol has already dealt with aliens once, but having your mentor being an alien is different. And it wouldn’t hit as hard if aliens were as commonplace as they are in the rest of the DC Universe.

Up to this point, Elasti-Girl has probably been the most effective member of the team.
But now she can’t even prevent a random guy from stealing her purse!

Of course it turns out that Chief’s origin was completely bogus: he gave a fake identity to each member of the Doom Patrol, in order to figure out who was being spied.
That makes sense, but what I find weird is before this magazine runs a sensational story… there’s a preview in a TV show a day earlier? Uh?

And now, ladies and gentlemen, is when the story turns bonkers.
Yes.
NOW.
Because it turns out that the people who are trying to figure out Chief’s identity ARE aliens!!!

So why are the aliens worried about Chief? Because his technology is SO advanced he’s a threat to their business, SOMEHOW.

Elasti-Girl is so relieved by Chief not being an alien (???) that she gets a little too personal.

This is the beginning of an almost-love triangle between the teammates.
I say “almost” because it’s one-sided: everyone loves Elasti-Girl, but she’s not into them.

You’d expect the aliens to try attacking the Doom Patrol, but nope: they buy Chief’s false origin story, and they propose a merger.

The aliens’ plan is horrifically brilliant: heat up the planet so that Earth will join any interstellar union that can help.

Chief pretends to side with the aliens, so he sends the Doom Patrol to recover a device that they need from a government facility.

It’s always amazing to see how stories published before the Moon landing treated the space race.

Elasti-Girl, you’re not being particularly impressive this issue.

Negative Man saves her from the giant excavator. The reason behind why she was in danger sounds ludicrous… yes she was too high for a normal human to survive the fall, but she can turn into a giant!

Premiani really does a great job at selling the sheer scale of this operation.

The aliens have powerful weapons…

…but they were right to fear Chief!!!

They are entirely correct in being afraid of the size of Chief’s balls.
(I am not sorry)

Okay the Chief didn’t actually create a ball that can expand indefinitely… he made a sphere that expand indefinitely thanks to a woman that wears clothes that can expand indefinitely.
Sounds legit.

The aliens are sore losers, so before they leave they turn up the heat.

Premiani is just great at selling Elasti-Girl’s facial expressions. That’s particularly important for this team, because the other heroes don’t HAVE faces and Chief is rarely in the same scene.

And so we end with Chief fixing up Robotman, with his origin still remaining a mystery.

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Historical significance: 0/10
To the best of my knowledge, the aliens don’t return.

Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Remember that Chief had no idea aliens were spying on him. He manages to come up with the exact fake origin that would make them reveal their plans.

Does it stand the test of time? 7/10
The first part, with the plot to unveil Chief’s origin and the way he tricks the spies, is relatively normal (if you allow for the technology of the time). And then it goes into crazy territory with the aliens stuff, which isn’t integrated enough with the rest of the setting to work today.

 Times Robotman has been damaged: 2

 Issues when Robotman is never damaged: 1