USA Comics #1 (1941)
written by unknown
pencils by Al Avison
cover by Jack Kirby and Joe Simon
The cover may belong to the lesser known hero Defender…
…but we can’t hold Whizzer for too long, so let’s take care of business first.
The writer is uncredited, although Stan Lee is often suggested.
No wonder nobody rushed to claim it, because this is often cited as one of the dumbest origin stories. I used to agree, but after Black Condor and Miss America… it’s not THAT dumb.
It’s revealed in a flashback showing young Bob almost dying of “jungle fever”.
And he would be killed by a venomous snake, if it wasn’t for a mongoose killing it first.
Wouldn’t been nice to actually SEE this fight, comic!!!
That gives Bob’s father the idea of saving him from the fever by a transfusion with mongoose blood (WTF?), only to then succumb to the dreaded Mentor Figure Disease.
In his delirious state, Bob’s father is even convinced that the mongoose is “the world’s fastest animal”. THE MONGOOSE.
Which… okay mongooses are fast, but they’re not THAT fast!
Side effects of mongoose blood transfusion may include delusions of grandeur, a desire to eat live insects, scorpions or snakes, swearing vengeance upon your enemies and uncontrollable whizzing.
But why were Bob and his father in Africa, and why does he want revenge?
Because his father was tricked by a mobster called Granno (???) into being blamed for a murder.
So Bob’s father decided to hide in the most convenient place: the jungle in Africa where he’ll contract the fever that kills him.
But now that he has Mongoose Speed, Bob decides to have revenge against Granno by becoming The Whizzer.
You might wonder why he doesn’t just call himself The Mongoose, but remember all he’s looking for is revenge.
And all Grannos fear whizzing.
And indeed, he proves to be the real Number One.
Thankfully he removes his coat before going Number Two.
This comic is really, REALLY bad at showcasing super-speed, isn’t it?
Yeah it’s very hard to showcase someone moving in slow motion when WE CAN ONLY HAVE STATIC IMAGES.
And we already close the story once The Whizzer has taken care of business.
Uh. That wasn’t a long whizzing, but when you have to go you have to go.
Historical significance: 7/10
You might think he’s not important at first, but the more he ages the more Whizzer becomes something to keep track of.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Mongoose blood gives you super-speed!!!
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Even if you’re willing to accept the extremely weak origin story… there’s barely anything here! Just think of the volume of things you can do with super-speed, but The Whizzer ends after a few drops.
How close is this to the modern character? What modern character?
While he’s technically not Marvel’s first speedster, Whizzer is definitely the first to gain any sort of impact. So he really is Number One.
Okay I’ll stop now.
Yeah it’s childish, I know, but… this is a character who A) dresses in yellow B) he’s mostly known as an old guy C) his codename sounds exactly like a term for urinating?
(that’s just a clone in a joke story, he’s not actually killed by Deadpool).
As far as Marvel heroes are concerned he wasn’t an A-Lister like Captain America, the Human Torch and Namor… but he was relatively successful.
He appeared on USA Comics until the series ended with #17 in 1945,where he had a comedy sidekick named Slow Motion Jones.
We don’t talk about it.
But also had a separate serial in All-Winners Comics from 1941 until 1946.
At the very least he’s considered important enough to be part of the All-Winners Squad, the only Marvel superhero team of the Golden Age.
Which is barely a thing, appearing only in two issues: All-Winners Comics #19 and #21.
(there is no All-Winners Comics #20. Numbering can be weird in the Golden Age).
His presence in the team is probably what made him seem more integral to the Golden Age than he actually was.
Despite the revival of Captain America and Namor, and a new Human Torch, there wasn’t enough interest in the rest of the Golden Age to bring back anyone else during the 60s.
So Whizzer had to wait 1974 for his return, thanks to… take a wild guess… Roy Thomas, on Giant-Size Avengers #1.
Which IMMEDIATELY complicates things by stating that the Captain America from the All-Winners Squad was not the original, but the same Captain America of the 50s that had been retconned into being someone else.
This will be retconned into having the real Cap being in the All-Winners Squad, by the way.
But that’s also the story that revealed that, after the war, Whizzer married fellow superheroine Miss America. Who I haven’t covered yet, but naturally has absolutely nothing to do with the Quality one.
Notice that even Roy Thomas can’t take the mongoose origin seriously.
The couple eventually had a son… a mutant born radioactive.
Which is legitimately something that does “just happen” in the Marvel Universe, but the news are given by a doctor with the worst bedside manners ever.
Said son would eventually grow up to be…
…Nuklo, a giant radioactive man with the mind of a child.
Who would’ve known that locking a radioactive baby in suspended animation inside a nuclear bunker would not lead to a great childhood?
But that’s the least influential part of Whizzer’s family. Because that’s also the story that revealed that after abandoning their first child, Whizzer and Miss America were the guests of the High Evolutionary: Marvel’s favorite sometimes-villainous superhero origins retconner-in-chief.
Leading to the revelation that Whizzer and Miss America were the biological parents of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch. Miss America died in childbirth.
The fact that the midwife was a cow-woman created by the High Evolutionary remains the LEAST convoluted part of this origin.
To Roy Thomas’s credit, it does make SOME sense to have Quicksilver’s father to be a speedster, and Miss America is sometimes drawn with SOME resemblance to Scarlet Witch.
It remained the official origin from 1974 from 1979.
He stuck around on Avengers for a while, but never really connected with his children. He wasn’t even invited to any of their weddings!
His last real appearance, flashbacks aside, is Vision & Scarlet Witch #2 from 1982.
That’s a pretty rough issue for him: first we learn that the twins never even TOLD him he’s not their father…
…then he learns the truth, not just about them being someone else’s children but that his actual second son died stillborn…
…and finally takes a lethal dose of radiation from a supervillain.
At least Nuklo is cured.
I guess it’s a circle. His first ever panel has him lying on the ground dying, and the last panel where he’s alive is doing the same thing.
So… yeah, aside from appearing in flashbacks set during the Golden Age, this poor guy’s legacy isn’t exactly great.
He doesn’t even have a real successor. The closest thing is the Whizzer from the evil Squadron Supreme: he shows up in Avengers #69 in 1969 by, should I even say it? Roy Thomas.
Who couldn’t resist dropping the idea that he was named after the Golden Age hero, even though as mentioned the original doesn’t appear until 1974.
Fun fact: this guy is actually the Spider-Man villain Speed Demon, once he decides to have a good name and to be a fun character.
Confusingly, there’s also the GOOD version of the Squadron Supreme, that acts as Marvel’s equivalent to the Justice League. And it has its own Whizzer.
But I’ve already talked long enough and the Squadron Supreme is a complete mess of continuity that I might discuss some other time.
What else was in USA Comics #1?
As the cover promises, Defender and his sidekick Rusty. They’re just a lazy copy of Captain America and Bucky. Also another story without a credited writer.
There’s Mr. Liberty, which looks like it’s set in the 1700s but it’s actually a guy in the 40s with the power to summon historical figures from American history.
He lasts just 4 issues, like Defender.
There’s Rockman, who you probably recognize as the most tragic character from J. Michael Straczynski’s “The Twelve” series that I’ve mentioned many many times.
There’s Young Avenger. Who is basically Marvel Boy without the insane origin story.
There’s Jack Frost, who again only lasts 4 issues but has something interesting about him.
First, he’s possibly the first superhero created by Stan Lee (assuming the rumor about him creating the Whizzer is untrue).
As a sign of things to come, he doesn’t have the support of the authorities. Not the first time for a Marvel character, but it’s interesting to see this so early in Stan Lee’s work.
Second, according to 1981’s Captain America #384 by Mark Gruenwald, he’s actually a human-sized Frost Giant!
Considering Loki is ALSO technically a human-sized Frost Giant, I keep waiting for a story where they meet.
And finally: if there was any doubt that Captain America was Marvel’s flagship character: he already has his fan club!
All-Winners Squad? Shouldn’t the Whizzer be on the All-Weiners Squad?
I recall a Whizzer-urination joke being done in Fred Hembeck’s Fantastic Four Roast. (Would that be a Doctor Doom apocrypha? I don’t see that it’s been covered.)
The Whizzer made an appearance in the Netflix TV series Jessica Jones, with a less ridiculous origin (IIRC, he was experimented on by Dr. Karl Malus), but he had a pet mongoose as a reference to his comic book origin.
I thought about using the panel from the Roast but it wasn’t all that funny. Much like most of that story (although mileage may vary)… but you’re right, I should at some point cover it as part of Doom’s apocrypha. Especially since he has one of the like three jokes I found funny.
I also considered referencing the Jessica Jones cameo, but then I thought… is he even the Whizzer if he has no relationship to a mongoose and isn’t even given the same civilian name?
At best it’s a minor reference. He doesn’t even look like him. Which might be for the best, honestly.
He does have a pet mongoose, though, and the color scheme of his clothing matches that of the comic book Whizzer. You’re right, though, about the name – they kept his first name but for some reason gave him a different last name. (Just re-watched to confirm.)
There’s probably some alternate universe where he called himself “the Mongoose” instead, got a better costume and went on to become a reasonably popular and long-lasting character with hardly a joke told about him. The origin’s still silly but easily retconned into it having been a radioactive/genetically modified mongoose blood donor or something, which is good enough for comics. Might even have become pretty important for a while in the 80s when the Serpent Crown/Serpent Society stuff was a big deal. Marvel’s certainly full of snake-themed baddies for him to fight, and that’s what Mongooses are good at. Imagine, a universe where “the Mongoose” winds up as ubiquitous as Wolverine. Not like the name is one iota sillier.
While his origin is relatively silly when compared to most mainstream heroes, he’s nowhere near the top of the most absurd ones.
It’s so weird that Marvel basically has its own version of Jay Garrick and WAY fewer speedsters but never did much with him.
If he was at DC or Quality (like Max Mercury), he surely would’ve been given some dignity by Mark Waid during his Flash run.
If he was in any other company… well I suppose the best he could hope for is a cameo on FemForce, but even that is more dignified than his Marvel fate.
Really feels like you glossed over Thor speculating on the sex lives of frost giants and the Midgard Serpent vis-a-vis whatever an ice worm is. That’s some freaky stuff to casually refer to in 1981, although I suppose having to deal with Loki all these years has made Thor pretty jaded about shapeshifting omnisexuals. His dad rides around on a horse that Loki gave birth to, after all…
And the Fenris wolf was also Loki’s offspring, as I recall.
Mythical deities did weird animal stuff all the time.
It’s hard for me to come up with new material regarging weird mythological relationships, because I always I remember that Peter David already made the perfect joke on the subject in 1994’s Incredible Hulk #422.
Surprisingly The Defender, Mr Liberty & Young Avenger have all showed up in Modern Comics.
Though just to die in flashback or of old age.
The Defender showed up in Bendis’s Daredevil of all places (2004).
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Don_Stevens_(Earth-616)
Mr Liberty in All-New Invaders (2014).
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/John_Liberty_(Earth-616)
& Young Avenger in a series called All-Winners Squad: Band of Heroes (2011).
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/William_Bryon_(Earth-616)