Secret Wars tie-ins

The 2015 Secret Wars was an ENORMOUS event, replacing every single existing series with a new one set in the new universe.
This resulted into an incredible FIFTY series and one-shots! Mercifully I won’t have to talk about all of them, because Doctor Doom only shows up in a few.

I initially considered splitting the tie-ins into multiple reviews spread throughout the main series, but they’re so inconsequential that I can do all of them in one go.

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Planet Hulk #1 (2015)
by Sam Humphries & Marc Laming
cover by Michael Del Mundo

While the new universe is synonymous with the new “Battleworld”, it encompasses several different “worlds”… including this one.

Doom is involved when Captain America loses to Arcade.
Yeah that’s embarrassing.

Doom doesn’t even talk, giving Steve the silent treatment.

I don’t like this use of either Strange, who is a little sycophantic considering he still remembers the old universe. Or of God Emperor Doom, who despite being very nearly omnipotent sends Bucky to murder his enemies. What’s even the point of being omnipotent then!?

All this series has is the opportunity to see a post-apocalyptic Captain America ride Devil Dinosaur.

Other than that, I can’t really recommend this series.
Notice how I didn’t even talk about Hulk on “Planet Hulk”… despite the title, this is very much Steve’s book.

Next!

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Inhumans: Attilan Rising #1 (2015)
by Charles Soule & John Timms
cover by Dave Johnson

This series kind of replaces Fantastic Four for a while.

Doom is involved when the Inhumans capture Ghost Rider who has apparently been causing trouble for him.
Notice we’re really mixing up characters here: first Cap and Hulk, now the Inhumans and Ghost Rider. Normally I love when different parts of the Marvel Universe interact, but I think this was a mistake: you’re already asking the readers to jump into a new unfamiliar universe, involving vastly different characters as well is a bit too much.

Doom has always showed respect for the Inhumans, even when they oppose him. This continues into the new reality because he really, REALLY loves monarchy.

But this is also exposing Doom’s hypocrisy. He may talk about how he’s protecting his subjects, but he’s simply implemented a “survival of the fittest” deal.

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Inhumans: Attilan Rising #4 (2015)
by Charles Soule & John Timms
cover by Dave Johnson

Despite my criticism and my skipping the non-Doom stuff, this is not a bad 5-issue run.
There’s a lot of political intrigue and spy stuff; if you like the Inhumans and pseudo-noir pastiches, give it a try.

Black Bolt is a freedom fighter in this reality (and he can talk); he provides the greatest indictment of Doom’s new universe by highlighting that he allows misery to flourish in multiple sectors.
In general I like the idea, but I have a really hard time believing Doom would allow an “Hydra Empire” to exist on Battleworld, even if they swear allegiance to him.

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Inhumans: Attilan Rising #5 (2015)
by Charles Soule & John Timms
cover by Dave Johnson

I’m a sucker for any cover that has Doom in the shadows with glowing eyes, and this is probably THE best cover of the entire event that isn’t by Alex Ross.

In the end, Black Bolt starts a rebellion against Doom…

…leading Doom to retroactively alter reality so that Black Bolt was always his loyal vassal, instead of Medusa.

Now THAT is how I’d expect a guy with super-omnipotence to act.

Next!

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X-Tinction Agenda #1 (2015)
by Marc Guggenheim & Carmine Di Giandomenico
cover by David Nakayama

I already thought the X-Tinction event sounded stupid in the 90s.
It has aged worse.

I’ll be honest with you, I couldn’t get through this one. I know Guggenheim is a good writer, but I just couldn’t… the artwork makes my eyes bleed.

But this is also another story that doesn’t make sense in the Secret Wars context… why would Doom even care if the disease spreading in the mutant sector spreads? He could just snap his fingers and cure it!

At least Doom has the good sense to stay out of the following 4 issues.

Next!

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Runaways vol4 #1 (2015)
by N.D. Stevenson & Sanford Greene

I completely lost track of the Runaways after volume 2. This is Runaways just in name, though.

Aaaaand we’re completely ignoring the main series here, because a MAJOR plot point there is that the people of this reality think the universe is only a few years old… they definitely shouldn’t believe it’s over 60 years old.
Heck it was even wrong in real life, because in 2015 Doctor Doom as a character wasn’t 60 years old yet.

Which is too bad because a series set in a Latverian super-school would be AWESOME.
(we will indeed get something a bit similar in 2025’s “Doom Academy”)

The twist is that the school isn’t really run by Doom, but by Valeria.

Doom himself doesn’t actually show up.

Next!

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Secret Wars: Battleworld #2  (2015)
Part 1 by David Walker & J.J.Kirby
Part 2 by Donny Cates & Marco Turini
cover by Chris B. Murray

No, the penciler is not related to Jack Kirby. I think.

This one is really the “anything goes” series. The first issue focused on the Punisher, while the second one stars Blade…

…in his fight against Drákula, the Duck Vampire.

Whoever came up with the idea of a team-up between Blade and Howard The Duck was not paid nearly enough.

It also features Blade The Duck. Why isn’t this a regular series?

Doom only shows up in the backup story, where War Machine… who is just Thunderbolt Ross here… manages to survive gladiator combat.

That story sucks. Buy this one for the Blade & Howard The Duck story though, it’s worth the price.

Next!

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Captain Britain and the Mighty Defenders #1 (2015)
by Al Ewing & Alan Davis

Confusingly, this one doesn’t replace Captain Britain or Defenders… it’s the replacement for “Captain America and the Mighty Avengers”.

Doom shows up once he hears the Defenders talk about rebelling.

If Doom is fixated on having only the strongest vassal states survive, THIS is a much more in-character way to do it than having him allow the Hydra Empire to exist.

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Captain Britain and the Mighty Defenders #2 (2015)
by Al Ewing & Alan Davis

Once again lots of stuff unrelated to Doom. I’d recommend this one for the Alan Davis artwork alone, but Al Ewing also supplies a good story.

I’m not adding anyone to the superhero count because it’s not entirely clear whether they’re really rebelling against Doom. In fact, he mostly exploited the Defenders to deal with a different problem for him.

Next!

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Squadron Sinister #4 (2015)
by Marc Guggenheim & Carlos Pacheco

Honestly at this point the Squadron Supreme’s history might be less complicated than the Justice League’s.

Doom summons Nighthawk after he has murdered one of the Thors.

He’s cleared of the charges, but Doom has other issues with him.

Well Nighthawk is the Marvel version of Batman, so OF COURSE he would interrupt God!

But since he’s also killed Hyperion, Nighthawk gets exiled.

I recommend checking this series. Not only both story and artwork are great, but if you’re a Starbrand fan… you’ll probably recognize the Starbrand of this reality and get a kick out of it.

Next!

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M.O.D.O.K. Assassin #1 (2015)
by Christopher Yost & Amilcar Pinna
cover by David Lafuente

The artwork inside is way better than this atrocious cover.

M.O.D.O.K. of all people is the guy to question the scientific validity of Doom’s gospel.

It’s also another schizophrenic team-up, pairing up M.O.D.O.K. with Baron Mordo and Clea.

To give you an idea of how absurd this series is… in the second issue M.O.D.O.K. falls in love with Angela.
Who is quite a headache of a character: created on the pages of Spawn for Image Comics, entangled in a legal dispute for years, with her rights being sold to Marvel out of spite… and who was later made into Thor’s secret sister.
Comics, everybody!

I mean HIT MONKEY shows up and he’s not the weirdest part of this series!!!

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M.O.D.O.K. Assassin #4 (2015)
by Christopher Yost & Amilcar Pinna
cover by David Lafuente

After lots of insanity, Doom finally shows up.

Yeah, uhm, Doom got a little carried away.

He doesn’t actually do anything, allowing M.O.D.O.K. and his crush to murder lots of people.

This series makes no sense whatsoever. And it’s AWESOME.

Next!

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Secret Wars Journal #5 (2015)
by Aaron Alexovich & Diogo Saito
cover by Vanessa Del Rey

Everyone got at least one story in these tie-ins. Even Night Nurse!

But we’re here for the backup feature of Mill-E, the Model Citizen.

Who is a rapping android spreading the word of Doom.

The public is… less than enthusiastic.

It’s kind of a pithy that this is in an alternate reality because I could 100% see this in a regular Squirrel Girl or Deadpool story.

I want this to be part of the mainstream universe SO badly.

Mill-E’s solution to market Doom to the masses is to introduce a cuter version.

And it works… on ONE child.

That’s enough to promote her to proselytizing for zombies.

There are no words to express just how much I love absolutely everything about this story.

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Doom significance: 0/10
None of this has any real impact on the series or on Doctor Doom.

Silver Age-ness: N/A
Does it stand the test of time? N/A
Not a real review so no real scores. As you can see the quality is all over the place: there are some good stories and a couple of jewels but SO MUCH forgettable stuff.
I think that in general the tie-ins really hurt the crossover as a whole (what else is new for a Secret Wars iteration?).
While they’re not anywhere near as bad as some of the worst Secret Wars II tie-ins, there aren’t as many stories that truly stand out.
As mentioned I really value mixing up characters and settings, but when you’re already dealing with alternate realities it gets too much.
It also didn’t help that EVERY series was halted for several months in order to carry out these tie-ins. And in the VAST majority of cases, once the event is over and every series continues… almost nothing that happened in-between will matter in the slightest.
The only other tie-in left is “Ultimate End”, which is equally forgettable but since it’s the official end of the Ultimate Universe it deserves SOME examination.