Superman #91

Superman #91 (1953)
by William Woolfolk & Al Plastino

Over the years, Superman has gone through extreme lengths to protect his secret identity.
I believe this issue contains the most absurd example BY FAR.

We begin with some guy visiting the Daily Planet for pictures of Superman, but he’s very particular about what he wants.

He continues to follow Superman for the perfect picture.

Eventually he finds Superman in the perfect pose, while he’s preventing an accident at a planetarium.

The guy was just looking for a picture to use on a Superman stamp.

I’m not surprised that Superman has been on a stamp, but I didn’t expect that it took him until 1995 to have a stamp in Canada and until 2006 to have a stamp in the US.

The premise of the story is that it’s absolutely VITAL for Superman to use any picture for the stamp, except the sketch that the artist just made.

Shouldn’t be too difficult, right?

Superman’s first idea is a bit questionable.

Yeah I’m with the artist on that one. Who would want to buy this stamp?

How about a picture of Superman drilling for oil?

Yeah I don’t think that works either.

How about Superman tanking a blast of electricity?

Again, even assuming all this electricity doesn’t obscure the picture… it’s just Superman standing around.

Superman, you’re getting WAY off-track here… how is a single stamp picture supposed to illustrate any of this!?

I remind you that ALL OF THIS is exclusively because Superman is terrified at the though of the stamp using THIS image.
Don’t even bother trying to come up for a reason why. You can’t guess it.

Superman is AGAIN trying to inspire an impossible picture…

…and inadvertently inspiring a picture that represents Superman way better than showing off his insane strength.

That was actually a nice scene: when Superman is not trying to show off, it’s the little things he does that demonstrate his true heroism.
And if the story was just about finding the best picture to represent Superman, this would have been a rare gem.

Instead, ladies and gentlemen, I give you: the most insane reason EVER to be worried about your secret identity.

It would require:

1. A percentage of the stamps being surcharged on a town with to Os
2. A percentage of THAT has the two Os placed over Superman’s eyes
3. A percentage of THAT comes across people of who actually notice
4. A percentage of THAT is people who suspect Superman wears glasses
5. A percentage of THAT recognize that Superman with glasses looks like Clark Kent

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Historical significance: 00/10
Mercifully forgotten.

Silver Age-ness: ∞/10
Oh no, the infinity symbol looks like two Os! Is Superman’s identity in danger, or just his sanity?
Just kidding, there’s no sanity here.

Does it stand the test of time? 00/10
Like I said, remove the entire secret identity thing and this could be a wholesome little story. But as it is… no. Just… just no.

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What else was in Superman #91 ?

The second story has a scientist who believes he can mess with Superman’s head.

He’s wrong.

The third story is the most famous one: it’s about Perry White encountering Caesar’s Ghost.

Sadly, it’s just a hoax.

The reason why it’s famous is that this is one of the few Superman stories that was adapted into the 50s TV show.