Dazzler #22 (1982)
by Danny Fingeroth & Frank Springer
Modern and not-so-modern X-Men readers might be surprised by the fact that one of Dazzler’s worst enemies in her regular series was her future teammate Rogue.
We begin with Angel being attacked by birds. Just saying, but this kind of crap never seem to happen to Hawkman or Falcon.
No animals were harmed in the production of this comic.
Because it’s a fictional story. In-universe, Angel is totally killing the birds.
That was FOUR PAGES of Angel fighting birds, by the way.
Dazzler is doing some heroics as well, saving an absent-minded skater from being hit by a car.
That might just be the most superhero thing Dazzler has done in 22 issues, which is kind of sad if you think about it.
Also her fame gets her out of getting a ticket.
I need to remind you that 1980s comics tended to show New York as basically a warzone with rampant crime behind any corner. But you see the authorities have their priorities straight.
Dazzler is finally recording her first record, and for once I have to give this series some props: it shows that a record is a serious business and Dazzler has to work hard at it.
Admittedly I know next to nothing about the music business, but this looks FAR more realistic than anything we’ve seen so far.
I expected Dazzler giving a fantastic performance, but for once the praise she receives feels earned.
Which is impressive considering that we can’t hear a single note of her song!
Poor Red Moustache gets stuck out of the story doing some boring lawyer stuff.
It’s a shame that law is such a boring subject that there haven’t been half a dozen lawyer superheroes and thirty million legal TV shows about lawyers.
We’re at page 10 (!!!) and by now you’re probably wondering two things: what was up with those birds and when is Rogue showing up.
And so, ladies and gentlemen, I give you one of the dumbest supervillain plans I’ve reviewed so far: anti-personnel hawks!!!
ANTI-PERSONNEL HAWKS. You have ROGUE on your team… who in case you’re wondering has already stolen Miss Marvel’s powers… and you send BIRDS.
And you target Angel, who ISN’T EVEN IN THE TEAM NOW!!!
The “““explanation””” given is some vague premonition by Destiny.
I think this might’ve benefitted from a slight rewrite.
(no offense to southerners, but as a non-native speaker Rogue’s accent is a nightmare)
Dazzler is spending her time watching Not Conan.
After spending all day working on her record, Dazzler wants her boyfriend to party all night… and she ends up having an argument because he’s working too much!
This is because he missed one recording session and cut short one date.
Should we infer that we’re only seeing a tiny part of their relationship and that he’s becoming absent? Because that’s not how it looks like… if anything, Dazzler comes off as a bit clingy.
To be fair, she does acknowledge she exaggerated.
She figures out she’s having an identity crisis on how to best use her powers, and she decides to talk about it with Angel.
ANGEL. Who, I remind you, first showed up in this series as a stalker who used his wealth to constantly bug Dazzler into going out with him. OBVIOUSLY the go-to guy to talk about how to use your gifts responsibly.
It’s been 16 pages and nothing has happened. Is anything going to SUDDEN TREE!!!
Despite being a recurrent villain, Rogue is apparently a Dazzler fan.
Time for the Angel versus Rogue fight! All one panel of it.
To add insult to injury, Mystique transforms into a copy of Angel’s previous love interest Candy Southern…
…just so she can kick him in the Cerebros.
No, Angel, I don’t think it’s ALL a joke. I just think YOU suck.
This makes Dazzler so angry that she takes several levels of badassery!!!
Only to lose them immediately, because she’s Dazzler.
With Dazzler out of the way, it’s time for Rogue to use her powers to absorb Angel’s mind and use the information against the X-Men… but she’s never absorbed his kind of powers before, and she’s afraid of what would happen.
I’m not a big X-Men fan, but a quick search tells me Rogue’s never absorbed Angel’s powers without adding others. Which makes sense since, you know, it’s Angel.
The villains are ready to take Angel away, but Dazzler has a rather badass return!!!
And so we end with Dazzler and Angel managing to escape in a helicopter. Which is the stealthiest way to flee from a villain who can fly.
But we have a final plot twist: Dazzler’s half-sister Lois London joins the cast!
Yep. We have another Lois L. to take care of.
Dazzler significance: 6/10
Rogue will stick around as a villain for some time.
Silver Age-ness: 9/10
ANTI-PERSONNEL HAWKS!!! Which don’t feature AT ALL on the main plot and are explicitly brought up only to annoy and confuse the hero. On the Marvel scale, that’s peak Silver Age-ness.
Does it stand the test of time? 10/10
This is the best X-Men story ever.
Okay, okay, let’s get serious for a moment… it’s not all that bad.
Does it stand the test of time? 7/10
The comic is obviously more interested in the soap opera aspect rather than the superhero stuff, which is not necessarily a bad thing: this is probably the first time Dazzler’s career has looked somewhat believable.
There are some pacing issues… we wasted four pages on the Angel vs hawks fight, which goes nowhere and is explicitly meaningless. This ends up making the villains’ plan look both ridiculous and rushed.
Speaking of the villains, the Brotherhood… or should I say the Sisterhood since it’s three women… is not particularly impressive here. Destiny is nearly useless and Mystique doesn’t get to do much. But it’s a rare opportunity to see Rogue in her supervillain phase, which is a treat because it didn’t last all that long. She’s one of my favorite X-Men so I’m glad she got her redemption arc… but honestly it’s kind of a shame to lose her as a villain because she’s a lot of fun!
With her “boisterous super-strong woman with a mean streak” persona, she could’ve been an earlier version of Titania but with more story potential.
GO FOR IT!: 15
In case you’re wondering, this is the first time Dazzler shouts her catchphrase since issue 16.
Obligatory underwear shot: 29
Basically the only reason Mystique turns into Candy Southern.
Superhero fans: 28
Adding Rogue. She’s not a superhero yet, but she definitely counts.
Interesting letters: if the letters page is representative of the reads, A LOT of them really wanted Angel to be Dazzler’s boyfriend.
I will never understand the appeal of Angel.