JIMMY OLSEN 56 (1961)
“The Son of Jimmy Olsen!” by Jerry Siegel & Kurt Schaffenberger
“Jimmy Olsen’s Sweethearts!” by Robert Bernstein & Al Plastino
Cover by Curt Swan
A story where Jimmy Olsen’s son marries his cousin… Superman’s daughter.
What could possibly go wrong?
We’re quickly updated by a caption about the status quo of this future time.
I would’ve loved to see a married Lois replacing Perry White (as a revenge from Lois Lane #23), but we’re never shown it.
Jimmy Junior, who looks identical to his father but without the freckles, ends up on a date with Lola Kent. He’s not happy about it.
She’s a secretly a superhero as well, which is a nice idea for 1961.
Her costume is a little lackluster but fine. Unfortunately she took the name “Supermaid”, which is awful.
Superman insists that Lola shouldn’t fall for Jimmy Junior.
You might think it’s because they’re cousins (Junior is the son of Lucy Lane), but that is never brought up in the story. No, the disembodied head of Clark Kent tells us why.
Hypocrite much, Superman? You married Lois Lane! But no, apparently Supermaid is too frail to go through that.
Of course, if you know anything about Silver Age tropes, you might have anticipated that while Junior despises Lola Kent he’s infatuated by Supermaid.
I guess we’re supposed to think Lola is unbearably plain, but she looks fine.
In a nice twist, however, Junior end up liking Lola once he gets to know her.
He keeps talking about Supermaid the entire date, but just when you think that it’s going horribly…
You know what? I’m kind of rooting for these two!
But obviously Superman can’t accept his daughter marrying anyone who isn’t an awful human being like the rest of her family.
Amazingly, “please stop seeing the person you wanted to marry because of reasons that I refuse to explain to you” doesn’t work on Junior.
We made it all the way to page 6 before Junior learns her identity, which is kind of impressive for a 9 page story!
It seems that the couple has managed to escape their awful families.
If you thought that was unexpected, it’s nothing: Junior has powers now!
And Lois too!
What, no mention of her blood type this time?
That’s the best possible scenario for Superman. Both him and his daughter can continue their careers as superheroes, possibly with the help of Lois and Junior as well. Since all of them are now invulnerable, even if someone discovers their identities, they’ll be fine.
Unless Superman ruins everything by IMMEDIATALY revealing his identity in a press conference!!!
This shocks all the stereotypes of the world.
Knowing 1961, somehow I doubt that’s real Japanese.
So Junior married Lola and everything looks like a happy ending, until…
Yep. Turns out gaining superpowers doesn’t stop supervillains from taking their revenge.
So now the entire world knows who Superman is and can target his family at any time.
All because Superman revealed his identity to the world and SOMEHOW this is Junior’s fault!?!?
Look… I make fun of almost everything about Silver Age Jimmy Olsen as a character, but this?
I. HATE. THIS. SUPERMAN.
Why did he reveal his identity to the world!? He didn’t have any reason! He ruined his own life, his wife’s life, his daughter’s life, and this freakin’ comic has the audacity to say that it’s not his fault!!!
Also: what kind of life lesson is this!? “Never love anyone or they’ll live a life of endless dread”!?
*groan*
We better move to something less disgusting.
Let me rephrase that.
We better move to something RELATIVELY less disgusting.
We begin with Jimmy on a trip to Hollywood, where he’s once again dumped by Lucy.
But apparently Jimmy has grown a spine between issues!
Although Jimmy just might be selling himself a little too high.
Or not, because he shows up on a date with MARYLIN MONROE (who was 35 in 1961).
And flirts with Tuesday Weld (who was 18 in 1961).
And later dates Gina Lollobrigida (who was 34 in 1961).
Who chooses Jimmy over Rock Hudson.
AND she ends up fighting Brigitte Bardot (27 in 1961) over him!!!
To top it all off, Jimmy even ends up making out with Jayne Mansfield (who was 28 in 1961).
I keep bringing up the ages because I still have no clue how old is Jimmy supposed to be.
Lucy suddenly realizes that she’s made a huge mistake to dump Jimmy and treat him like crap, so she comes back begging him to get back together.
Aaand this is where everything falls apart.
Turns out that all the celebrities we saw were part of the Look-Alike Club. Which is a shame because for a lot of them I wouldn’t have recognized them without the dialogue.
Finally, a happy ending!
Historical significance: 0/10
As you might expect from an imaginary story and from the use of several 1960s starlets.
Silver Age-ness
First story: 9/10
Second story: 1/10
The “imaginary tale” is very Silver Age, from the retro vibe of the future to the easy superpowers. The second one has almost no specific tropes, except for the general idiocy.
Does it stand the test of time?
First story: 0/10
Despite a great start… Junior falling for Lola because of her personality and not her powers, Lola carrying on on the superhero tradition… everything falls apart because of the awful, awful end.
Obviously today you couldn’t write Junior marrying his cousin, but honestly that’s the least awful thing of this entire story!
Second story: 4/10
Obviously you’d need to either update the celebrities or make it a period piece, but as a silly sitcom it’s perfectly adaptable. I don’t know WHY you would want to adapt it, but it’s possible.
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
First story: Jimmy barely appears, but I’m going to say keeping Superman’s identity a secret to his son. It’s not what Superman wants, but honestly, f#ck this issue’s Superman.
Second story: do you really need to ask?
Interesting letters: now we know who to blame for Jimmy Olsen #72.
Also: the writers admit they made a huge mistake in Jimmy Olsen #54. Do you know how rare it is for DC letters page to admit ANY kind of mistake!?
