LOIS LANE #83 (1968)
by Frank Robbins & Irv Novick
Cover by Neal Adams
This time Lois joins a bike gang. I’m sure this one has aged well.
Apparently Lois has published a few stories about a particular bike gang, so they plan to “do a job on her”.
Meanwhile Superman is looking through the obituaries for a new secret identity to replace Clark Kent. Wait, WHAT!?
And yes, this goofball riding his bike into the Daily Planet’s offices (WTF!?) will be our villain for the story.
Lois is understandably not afraid of “Kaiser Bill”.
How can you be in the same room as Kaiser Bill and NOT be the most embarrassing person around, Clark!?
Since Lois really wants to write a story about this loser’s biker gang, she pretends to fall for him.
And that’s how we get Biker Lois.
She decides to impress the gang by crashing her bike into their lair. Which is inside a dumpster, because of course it is.
Kaiser Bill decides to give her a chance, joining their effort to ruin one of the ugliest monuments you have ever seen.
She creates a distraction by… doing whatever THIS is.
Ah yes, the true hallmark of biker gangs: flag vandalism.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This is a job for Superman (SOMEHOW). And since he can’t simply face the bike gang as Superman (BUT WHY!?), he decides to join them by showing off how posing as a random biker who can defy the laws of physics.
“King Cross” accepts to be interviewed by Lois, and his fake story (which mercifully we don’t get to hear) is so sad that it makes the bikers cry.
I’m sure this will dissuade Kaiser Bill from murdering him. He looks like a reasonable person.
Okay at this point he HAS to guess that this is Superman, right? Right?
Now… everyone with half a brain would’ve immediately figured out that Lois wasn’t actually into Kaiser Bill and was doing this for a story.
Which means, of course, that Superman didn’t get the memo.
So he challenges them to ride their bikes ON A ROLLER COASTER.
HOW IS SHE NOT DEAD!?!?
And SOMEHOW this:
1) teaches a lesson to Kaiser Bill
2) makes Lois understand that that moron was actually a “misunderstood kid” (who looked in his late thirties at best!)
3) shows Superman that “King Cross” was actually a more fun secret identity than Clark Kent
Sounds legit.
Historical significance: 0/10
I swear if Kaiser Bill makes another appearance I’m going to ride a bike on a roller coaster.
Silver Age-ness: 7/10
Only in this period people would not find gravity-defying stunts weird.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
This is, and I don’t say this lightly, one of the dumbest Lois Lane comics that I have ever read.
Stupid Lois Lane moment
PLENTY of stupid decisions, but above all else: what exactly makes this random and non-violent biker gang newsworthy!?
Interesting letters: please nobody tell them that Superman will grow a mullet in the 90s.
