LOIS LANE #81 (1968)
by Leo Dorfman & Kurt Schaffenberger
Cover by Neal Adams
Last issue Lois swore she was done with Superman. Judging by the cover, he’s taking it well.
It’s his face that gets me.
Not that Clark Kent is handling things any better.
He decides to write down his feeling for Lois and mail them.
What is “Super-Airmail”, you may ask? Just throwing things on the other side of the country. (!!!!)
She’s tempted to read the letter, even hoping that it’s a marriage proposal, but ultimately decides to stick to her decision to leave Superman. Good for her!
Well… she tried.
Despite this little hiccup she still decides that she won’t read the whole letter.
Meanwhile Superman decides change history: if only he didn’t miss her birthday party, she wouldn’t be mad at her!
According to Silver Age time travel rules, this shouldn’t work: since past Superman was already there, future Superman shouldn’t be able to take his place.
Unfortunately, he f#cks up even worse than the first time!
This causes a maelstrom in the Indian ocean (????).
These are supposed to be Indians, by the way.
With all these distractions, Superman forgets Lois’ birthday AGAIN.
Well that’s just pathetic.
Perhaps Lois has a more interesting plot going on?
So that’s a no.
At least her new boss at the hospital (she’s working as a nurse, remember?) is doing deadly experiments on prisoners.
Wait, WHAT!?
Lois gets to save him from the criminals. And hey, I was wrong in Lois Lane 78, they DID remember her learning Kandor Karate!
Despite this sudden show of competence, she still needs to be saved by Superman.
Or not!
All of this just to give Lois Lane telepathy. WTF!?
Superman is not a fan of this storyline.
Despite his harsh words, though, Superman is apparently in love with her.
Note that up until this point she was convinced that his reasons for not wanting to marry her were bulls#it.
And conveniently she loses her telepathy!
But it’s okay: she gets the power to see the future. Because Silver Age.
This turns out to be useful because SUDDEN FUTURE KRYPTONITE!
And conveniently she loses this power as well!
Or not! I swear Lois gets the most unreliable powers EVER.
So Lois pulls a Fantastic Four: she sneaks into her boyfriend’s spaceship as it blasts off and goes to save Superman.
Well, since he’s out here, he might as well take the opportunity, I suppose.
I have no idea of what he’s talking about.
But it does result in Lois dumping her astronaut boyfriend and loving Superman again… somehow.
So the new Lois Lane is basically the same of the old one.
Historical significance: 0/10
Told you this would end in nothing.
Silver Age-ness: 5/10
Lois gets telepathy and precognition only to lose them when the plot demands it, only to get them back and lose them again.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
You don’t get to spend an entire issue detailing how awful Superman is to Lois and then pretend that nothing happened!
Stupid Lois Lane moment
After all the character development of last issue (admittedly minor stuff by modern standards, but still!), Lois decides that being around Superman is great even if she has pretty definitive proof that he will never marry her.