METAL MEN 12 (1965)
by Robert Kanigher & Ross Andru
Is issue 12 too soon to celebrate the return of the villain from issue 1 ?
Little known fact: the Beatles were big Metal Men fans.
We also have the first instance of them sort of breaking the fourth wall.
It won’t be the last.
Yes everyone loves the Metal Men… except apparently the army.
Also: since when do they run around in a car instead of their flying saucer!?
They fight the tank by having Lead and Iron turn into a tank themselves!!!
Despite surviving the attack, finding themselves the targets of more assaults they decide to just split the team. Wait, WHAT!?
At least we have Ross Andru making the moment visually interesting by splitting the team into separate panels.
Except Iron rebels, doing to Mercury what we have all been waiting to happen: punch his smug face!
And then OUT OF NOWHERE the comic goes into a flashback of the Metal Men meeting the Missile Men again!!!
You might remember that the Missile Men were built by a robot called Z-1, who had been exiled from his race. Guess what: the rest of them are coming to Earth!
The Metal Men will have to save Earth by an alien invasion, so… we’re screwed.
Well at least Doc is beginning to understand how useless Tin is.
Okay having Lead and Iron intercept missiles makes a certain amount of sense, but Mercury because he’s used in dental implants!? WHAT!?
Just take a wild guess who is going to be the most useful member of the team. AGAIN.
Doctor Will Magnus, fighting FOR robophobia since 1962.
Well what did you expect from a scientist who studies an alien robot WITH A STETHOSCOPE!?
Your regular reminder that Doc is, in fact, immortal.
Since the alien robots had been monitoring the lab, they are able to use Ross Andru artwork to create copies of the Metal Men.
I’m not gonna lie, I legit want that thing as a poster.
This is when we end our flashback (I completely forgot we were in one, did you?) because this is the reason why the army has been after the Metal Men.
Civil War this ain’t.
I expected more from Andru, to be honest. This is rather dull.
Yeah, despite their badass introduction, the Fake Metal Men go down immediately.
But then the Missile Men attack, resulting in Tina being knocked out by a bump on the head. (WTF!?)
Last time the Missile Men were defeated by magnetizing them, so the solution is to make the Metal Men magnetic. Should be simple, right?
Right?
And the Metal Men’s solution is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I absolutely love the fact that the Metal Men have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER of what they are doing.
So of course it works!
Aaaand everybody except Tina is dead.
Shocking, I know.
This is one of the rare issues where not only the Statement of Ownership is published, but it’s in a format that shows up clearly in a scan.
This series had an average of 410,000 issues printed, 4,100 subscriptions and 291,000 issues sold.
So clearly we deserved to be destroyed by the Missile Men.
Metal Men significance: 0/10
You would expect the return of the first big villain to matter, but no.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Magnets. How do they work? Don’t ask the Metal Men!
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Even Ross Andru doesn’t seem to be really into it, this time.
Times Platinum has died: 9
Times Lead has died: 12
Times Mercury has died: 12
Times Gold has died: 12
Times Tin has died: 12
Times Iron has died: 13