Secret Wars II – Page 5 – Comics Archeology

Continuing the trend from the previous tie-ins, these are still those that I consider the minor ones.

Power Man and Iron Fist #121 (1986)
by Jim Owsley & Mark Bright

Considering they were present when their building was turned into gold, it’s surprising that Luke Cage and Iron Fist don’t participate in the Spider-Man storyline that deals with that.

Instead, together with guest-star Falcon, they’re contacted by the Beyonder who wants to show off his new absurd headquarters.

Mark Bright does a WAY better job than Al Milgrom at selling the ginormous scale of the Beyonder’s operations.

How will the heroes react to this?

Sounds legit.

Continuing the theme from his Secret Wars II appearance, Iron Fist continues to be one of the few heroes who hasn’t lost his mind witnessing the Beyonder.

While Iron Fist and Falcon talk to SHIELD about the Beyonder, Luke Cage is left in charge of distracting the Beyonder.

Blackface Beyonder sure walks a thin line between funny and offensive…

…but I think we can firmly say it remains on the “just funny” side.

And I say that because the writer is Jim Owsley (perhaps better known as Christopher Priest after he legally changed his name) is not only black, but has always been EXTREMELY vocal about the depictions of African-Americans in comics. So I’m sure he’s doing this on purpose to parody over-the-top black caricatures.

The story also includes a scene with Iron Fist PUNCHING A MISSILE that SHIELD fired on the Beyonder headquarters…

…which isn’t something I’d put past him (his punch is RIDICULOUSLY powerful), so I’m kind of bummed it was only thanks to the Beyonder’s help.

Recommended reading? Kind of
This is a fun and underrated series. The tie-in can be worth it if you want to check it out, but be warned that there are A TON of subplots.

Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? No
But then again we would’ve missed Blackface Beyonder.

Should this have been in the miniseries? No
I shudder at the thought of 1985 Jim Shooter writing Blackface Beyonder. If we were talking Legion Shooter, sure he could’ve done it tastefully, but in the 80s he was kind of nuts.

New Mutants #36 (1986)
by Chris Claremont & Mary Wilshire
cover by Barry Windsor-Smith

So far, in his tie-ins Claremont has only talked about Rachel Summers fighting the Beyonder and Nightcrawler doubting his Catholic faith because of him.

So in this one… Magik fights the Beyonder and Sunspot doubts his catholic faith because of him.

See? Totally different.

Recommended reading? Not for the tie-in
If you like the New Mutants series, sure. But definitely not a good jumping point.

Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? No
The same thing that happened in the first issue of the miniseries basically happens again.

Should this have been in the miniseries? No
It kind of WAS in the miniseries.

Uncanny X-Men #202 (1986)
by Chris Claremont & John Romita Jr.

One more Claremont tie-in. Is he going to bring something new?

Well it’s about Rachel Summers fighting the Beyonder, so don’t bet on it.

Too bad this happens when the Beyonder is in his “my role is to help people” phase.

Remember how THE best Secret Wars II page was Al Milgrom depicting the Phoenix attacking the Beyonder? Unsurprisingly, John Romita Jr. does an even better job.

Outside of the very beginning of the original Secret War, where the Beyonder oblitared an entire galaxy, this is easily the best representation of just how powerful he is: not allowing the full power of the Phoenix to damage a flower.

After showing her a flashback of her dystopian future, the Beyonder gives Phoenix a chance to really kill him by sharing a fraction of his power.
This is surprisingly in line with the miniseries, where the only way to kill the Beyonder was by using his own power. Obviously this is a FAR better way than using that stupid Beyondersbane™ from Secret Wars II #7.

But it’s just a test to see if she wants to kill him more than she wants to kill the X-Men.

What follows is a VERY well-written and well-choreographed fight against the Sentinels, but Phoenix eventually goes back to the Beyonder…

…to do what most readers have always dreamed to do.

Recommended reading? Yes
I’m usually very critical of Claremont in this period, but this is some of his best work and Romita Jr gets to be quite creative as well.

Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? Yes
While he’s not exactly indispensable for the growth of Rachel’s relationship to the Phoenix Force, the Beyonder is the centerpiece of the story.

Should this have been in the miniseries? Yes
Mostly because it gives Phoenix a reason to be such an important character, while in the miniseries itself she kind of comes out of nowhere. But in general, I feel that if the Beyonder had been written this well then the general opinion of Secret Wars II would’ve been drastically different.
Once again: THIS IS WHAT THE MINISERIES WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT.

Amazing Spider-Man #273 (1986)
by Tom DeFalco & Ron Frenz

This is among the weird ones, which is quite an accomplishment for Secret Wars II tie-ins.

That’s because DeFalco makes the truly baffling decision to set up the Beyonder as Puma’s nemesis.
Puma is a GREAT character whose relationship to Spider-Man is hard to define: he’s been everything from villain to ally and absolutely everything in between… but he’s just a cat-person, so he has no business dealing with the Beyonder.

Having said that, Puma is just great in his civilian identity of billionaire Thomas Fireheart.

Puma is basically Batman in this period: he always knows everything about everyone, and apparently he’s one of the few who has actually read the Secret Wars II miniseries!!!

Puma tracks down the Beyonder thanks to the cult he has inspired, but he’s dismissed as little more than a nuisance.

He really didn’t need to go through all that trouble to meet the Beyonder. It’s absurdly easy to talk to the guy!

Recommended reading? Not for the tie-in
“Amazing” is probably the weakest Spider-Man title at this point.

Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? No
Seriously, he has no business dealing with Puma.

Should this have been in the miniseries? No
This is going to be almost as ridiculous as the miniseries itself… ALMOST.

Spectacular Spider-Man #111 (1986)
by Jim Owsley & Rich Buckler

The idea that Puma is going to be treated as the Beyonder’s nemesis is dumb enough…

…but add the fact that he has a never-before-mentioned Japanese master who is obsessed with pop music, and we’ve reached peak madness.

Although I do appreciate how Mr. Not Miyagi subverts our expectations of the stock character.

Turns out the sensei has another student.

Interestingly, the sensei refers to the Beyonder as “Kurami”. I don’t speak Japanese and a quick search doesn’t bring up anything that makes sense for the character… it’s both a last name and a woman’s name, but none of the meanings I found seem to apply.
If any of my readers has any clue I would really appreciate any explanation (other than the obvious “it sounds foreign enough” of course).

Even after the Beyonder explains what he is and what he’s been doing, Puma is still fixated on destroying him.

All of this was a flashback to show what Puma was doing in Japan after the Beyonder sent him there. Now we re-join the main storyline, with the Beyonder giving lots of praise to Spider-Man.
I guess he’s still grateful for showing him how to use the bathroom.

And then things get truly ridiculous when the Beyonder brings up the new and improved^{(citation needed)} Not Mr. Miyagi.

Okay as stupid as the idea of Puma being the Beyonder’s nemesis is, I kind of like that there’s a logic behind it.
Puma was given his powers to protect his tribe, and since the Beyonder is POTENTIALLY the greatest threat to the tribe, it means that Puma HAS to defeat him.
But it still remains a stupid idea. Nuclear warheads are also a potential threat to the tribe, does that mean that Puma is also going to go after those?

Now, if the story was about Puma realizing that he’s been given a suicidal goal and needing to come to terms with it, then I wouldn’t have any issues with this.
But the absurd part is that the Beyonder is actually afraid that Puma might succeed in killing him!!!

This is THE SAME GUY who shrugged off an attack from the Phoenix Force!!!

Then again, what did I expect from a story with Rock Miyagi using Dazzler’s catchphrase.

The Beyonder is in the audience when one of the followers of his “church” shows up to assassinate him, because his wife recently died in a car accident and he feels the Beyonder could’ve prevented it.

Hilariously his name is Ralph Macchio… just like Marvel editor Ralph Macchio and Karate Kid actor Ralph Macchio.
I sure hope this isn’t supposed to be him because, again, the character’s wife dies in this.
I couldn’t find if his wife really is called Maude.

In any case, Macchio fails to kill the Beyonder… but Rock Miyagi needlessly sacrifices himself to save him.

This SOMEHOW causes Puma to become “one with the universe” and gain the power to kill the Beyonder for real.

But Puma hesitates at the worst moment, losing his powers.

The Beyonder doesn’t even resurrect the sensei.

Recommended reading? No
One of the dumbest tie-ins, WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING

Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? No
In fact his speeches regarding Spider-Man and Death kind of contradict his thoughts on both at the end of the miniseries.

Should this have been in the miniseries? No
It’s dumb enough as it is.

Defenders #152 (1986)
by Peter B. Gillis & Don Perlin
cover by Frank Cirocco

This is the final issue of the “New Defenders” series, which I think gets an undeserved bad reputation.
It’s not exactly a masterpiece, but it does have some great moments.

One of the best parts of the book was the character development of Moondragon, who was possessed by the very scary “Dragon Of The Moon” space monster. This is the end of her journey to get rid of it…

…and the monster tricks her into summoning the Beyonder.

And the Beyonder… marries her? I think? This is a VERY weird use of the character.

Now don’t be shocked, but the Beyonder… just f##ks this up and basically gives the monster full control of Moondragon.

After a long fight with the monster, this ends with all the Defenders who are not going to join X-Factor immediately afterwards are turned to stone.

Hey I said it’s an underrated series with some gems, not that ALL of it is great.

Recommended reading? No
I found the “Dragon Of The Moon” storyline very interesting. The way it ends, not so much.

Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? No
Even for his “cosmic messiah” phase, this is still one of the weirdest uses of the Beyonder.

Should this have been in the miniseries? No
It was already one of the Beyonder’s most unbearable phases, it doesn’t need more.

New Mutants #37 (1986)
by Chris Claremont & Mary Wilshire
cover by Rick Leonardi & Bill Sienkiewicz

Even the Beyonder seems perplexed for why he has to fight the New Mutants.

In fact I’m not entirely sure why he picks up a fight with them. He mentions that he’s mad that Magik refused his help in figuring out her place in the universe.

And it’s a VERY brutal fight, considering it STARTS with him disintegrating Magik.

Things get somehow worse for the rest of the New Mutants.

The Beyonder is SO thorough that not only he disintegrates the entire team, HE REMOVES THEM FROM HISTORY.

Yeah, uhm, did you think the Beyonder’s human form couldn’t be scary?
Give him to Mary Wilshire with Sienkeiewicz inks and he’s UTTERLY TERRIFYING.

Recommended reading? Yes if you’re into the New Mutants
One of the things that prevented me from enjoying the series was that often it was just too darn depressing. This ramps it up CONSIDERABLY. I still enjoyed it, but your mileage may vary.

Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? Yes
It’s the entire point of the story, so it’s quite inevitable

Should this have been in the miniseries? Yes
If the Beyonder was acting like THIS at the end, I could’ve bought the way superheroes treat him.

Amazing Spider-Man #274 (1986)
written by Tom DeFalco
pencils by Ron Frenz, Tom Morgan & James Fry
cover by John Romita Sr.

Mephisto being the focus of a Spider-Man story? Like that will ever be historically significant.

The Beyonder is in his “let’s blow up the universe” phase, and since superheroes in this event are kind of useless it’s up to a random alien species to save everything.

The Beyonder reacts by basically retconning them out of existence.

Okay THIS is a believable reason for Mephisto to hate the Beyonder: when he disintegrate people, they can’t go to Hell.

Mephisto manages to convince the Beyonder to make a bet: if a champion manages to prove his life is worth living, then the Beyonder will wait 24 hours before blowing it up.

Even Mephisto is like “WTF does this have to do with Spider-Man!?”.

Interestingly, the champion chosen by the Beyonder is Zarathos, the Spirit of Vengeance that used to be the power behind Ghost Rider. But Johnny Blaze had been “cured” of the Ghost Rider ghost at this point, so Zarathos is fair game.

The bet is going to be whether Spider-Man can be convinced to abandon his responsibilities and let Kingpin die.

But mostly it’s an excuse to torment Spider-Man by making him face dead enemies and be reminded of his failures.

But eventually Spider-Man defeats Zarathos and saves Kingpin.

All while being completely unaware that he was Mephisto’s champion and that he allowed the universe to survive one more day.

Spider-Man just gave Mephisto one more day, uh? I wonder if he’ll ever return the favor.

Recommended reading? No
Pretty generic Spider-Man angst.

Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? No
All of this just to wait 24 hours before destroying the universe? Really!?

Should this have been in the miniseries? No
Except the motivation for Mephisto hating the Beyonder. THAT should’ve been there.

Uncanny X-Men #203 (1986)
by Chris Claremont & John Romita Jr.

ANOTHER Claremont story with Phoenix trying to destroy the Beyonder!?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

Yeah I don’t care if she’s powering up by absorbing all the mental energy of the planet or whatever she’s doing… WE ALREADY DID THIS!

So the Beyonder shows up AGAIN, threatening to destroy the X-Men AGAIN.

At least Kitty Pryde calls him out.

But here we go again.

Since Phoenix linked her mind to all the people of the universe (I think), witnessing everything all at once is the only thing that “defeats” the Beyonder.

This is basically when the Beyonder decides his endgame is to turn into a mortal.

That decision comes out of nowhere in the miniseries, so it’s nice to give it a coherent origin.
Not sure it really needed to include the Jewish Shadowcat to explain Christianity, though.

Recommended reading? Not for the tie-in
A much, much weaker version than the previous issue of the same series.

Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? Not really
This could’ve been accomplished in the previous fight against Phoenix.

Should this have been in the miniseries? Yes
The Beyonder’s decision to become mortal is way too sudden in the miniseries.

Avengers #265 (1986)
by Roger Stern & John Buscema

And finally, the last tie-in of this batch.

This is the follow-up to Secret Wars II #8, where the Beyonder attacked the Avengers.
It’s also where Captain America discovers that the Beyonder’s body is a copy of his own. Kind of weird that he didn’t figure it out sooner.

Cap breaks free when the Beyonder seemingly falls asleep. And as he recalls from the original Secret Wars, that could be catastrophic.

But in this story the Beyonder is not stupid: he just faked falling asleep to test Captain America, and the Avengers’ rescue operation falls apart very quickly.