ACTION COMICS #296 (1963)
“The Invasion of the Super-Ants!” by Edmond Hamilton and Al Plastino
“The Girl Who Was Supergirl’s Double!” by Leo Dorfman and Jim Mooney
Cover by Curt Swan
This is a relatively famous cover among Silver Age fans; after all, what better way to demonstrate the Silver Age silliness?
Admittedly I don’t speak Ant, but I find that “bzz-bzz” hiliarious.
Full disclosure: I could find only one source that gives Hamilton as the writer, so take it with a grain of salt.
We begin with Lois and Clark on an assignment from the Daily Planet… to cover an ant colony exhibit. Must’ve been a really, REALLY slow news day.
There’s an entire page of Clark Kent explaining all kinds of ant facts to Lois Lane.
I suppose there’s nothing wrong with it… the Superman books are supposed to be kid-friendly and I don’t have objections about being educational… but the stuff Clark is explaining is pretty basic, and yet Lois Lane is amazed by everything he says.
Clark is worried about the possibility that ants might some day take over the Earth.
You could read some metatext about the idea that humans could rebel against Superman…
…but Lois is not worried, since killing ants is so easy.
Of course you realize this means that Metropolis is invaded by giant ants.
There’s even a public service announcement about it on TV.
Too bad we don’t see the rest of it. I wonder what was the next segment.
“Superman versus ants” should be a brief story, no matter how big they are, but these ants are playing dirty.
Not only that, the ants are invulnerable to pretty much anything.
The ants also attack the Daily Planet, where they kidnap Lois Lane after she unsuccessfully tries to communicate with them… in sign language.
And why did they take Lois? To be their queen, of course.
Enjoy laying thousands of eggs, Lois!
The situation is pretty dire. What can Superman do to fight this menace?
Go through a cloud of red Kryptonite that he discovered when he was Superboy.
Apparently, this particular cloud of Red Kryptonite changes you into whatever you’re thinking, and previously transformed Krypto into another breed.
Dammit Supes, now I have to add Superboy 101 to the list of reviews!
And having an ant’s head helps the situation.. how, exactly?
It makes Superman understand the ants, of course!
Yes these are ALIEN ants. They come from a planet where they evolved after an atomic war wiped out a race similar to humans, so now they travel from planet to planet to teach humanoids that war is wrong and stuff.
As for the whole “Lois Lane as queen”… they thought she’d be the best choice to communicate.
The ants weren’t even trying to hurt Superman: their spaceship runs on Kryptonite. (!!!)
And so we end with Superman addressing the United Nations with a dire warning: “do something about nuclear war or I’ll exterminate you puny humans like bugs you’ll grow ant heads”.
All things considered, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
Let’s move over to the Supergirl story, where we continue the saga of Lena Thorul.
The plot revolves around a costume ball. Supergirl looks for a costume, choosing… oh no.
The Superman books of this era don’t have the best track on Native Americans, but mercifully we’re spared anything racist.
Supergirl is attending the ball in her civilian identity of Linda Danvers, with her boyfriend Dick Malverne (who doesn’t know she’s Supergirl).
Given his age, shouldn’t he be Superboy?
Lena is there too… dressed as Supergirl. Because of course she is.
And the couple wins the ball’s prize, to the jealousy of a spoiled rich girl who was attending dressed as Cleopatra.
Apparently this warrants a rather elaborate picture of the couple.
Yes, suspend a teenage girl wearing a skirt over a crowd taking pictures. GREAT idea.
Some costumed thieves stage a robbery to steal the very expensive jewels of the Cleopatra girl, but Supergirl saves the day.
Naturally, this leads to Dick suspecting that Lena is actually Supergirl.
I’m sure you saw this coming the moment you saw someone else dressed as Supergirl.
What you DIDN’T suspect was Dick immediately dumping his girlfriend to make moves on Supergirl.
Yep. He’s a Dick alright.
Dick’s father is a geologist, which naturally means he has a Kryptonite sample in his house that he can use to expose Supergirl’s identity… including STAGING A FAKE EXPLOSION.
He also keeps KNOCKOUT GAS in his house, so when Lena passes out because of the gas he assumes that it’s due to the Kryptonite.
So, to recap: this Dick dumps his girlfriend at the ball AND he keeps knockout gas in his house.
Supergirl… I know you’re invulnerable, but I don’t think you should feel safe around this guy.
Apparently Midvale is just as dangerous as Metropolis, since five minutes later a plane catches fire and Supergirl has to save it secretly… while Dick makes out with his new girlfriend in front of the girl he dumped a couple of days before!
How much of a Dick can he be!?
And just to twist the knife, Supergirl’s adoptive mother points out that her boyfriend is great for someone else.
Supergirl is so much of a saint that, instead of fantasizing about severely maiming Dick, she’s tempted to expose Lena’s secret.
I would object to the idea that he would dump Lena just because she’s Luthor’s sister… but you know he would. He’s a Dick.
But no, Lena is her friend, so Supergirl won’t betray her.
She even agrees to deliver her a birthday gift from Lex: a synthetic diamond that he created before his arrest.
Silver Age and diamonds. You know where this is going.
And we end on a cliffhanger! Who will face doom at the hands of Supergirl?
Please be Dick please be Dick please be Dick please be Dick please be Dick…
Historical significance: 0/10
As you might expect, no future appearances by the ants. And I’m sorry to say that Supergirl doesn’t realize that Dick is the scum of the Earth.
Silver Age-ness
Superman story: 8/10
Supergirl story: 2/10
Any story with Red Kryptonite has a high score in the category, but it’s lowered a bit by the fact that nearly everything gets an explanation.
The Supergirl story, despite being firmly a story of its time, has very few Silver Age elements that you wouldn’t find in other eras.
Does it stand the test of time?
Superman story: 5/10
Supergirl story: 8/10
The Superman story holds up surprisingly well… until we get to the ant head. If they kept the serius tone of the first half, you could do almost the entire story today.
The Supergirl story is a very typical teen drama. You could very easily do everything the same way… but either Dick needs to be less awful or Supergirl needs to realize he’s a Dick.
Stupid Lois Lane moment
Communicating with ants with sign language? Really?
Kryptonite, baby
Just how abundant is Kryptonite on other planets if the ants can use it as fuel?