Jimmy Olsen 53

SUPERMAN’S PAL JIMMY OLSEN 053 (1961)
by Jerry Siegel and Curt Swan

We have finally reached what is arguably the most famous Jimmy Olsen story from the Silver Age: “The Giant Turtle Man”. Why did THIS story specifically get so famous?

The beginning is quite unusual for this series: instead of Jimmy visiting a crazy scientist or receiving a weird souvenir from Superman, he’s on a trip to “the West Indies” with the rest of the Daily Planet cast.

I had a hard time believing a newspaper would pay for a 10-day vacation on a cruise ship, but considering they’re taking a cargo of scrap metal I’m starting to think Perry White didn’t really pay much for this trip.

If you thought that was random, Jimmy then discovers a mysterious ray gun hidden inside a chest he found on the beach.

Jimmy’s first instinct is to test this device on the closest living creature, because of course it is, specifically on a snail (on a tropical beach!?) that turns gigantic.

And for no reason he tests it again on a sponge.

We then have a weird case of repositioning the characters. As you saw in the first panel Clark Kent was on the boat. He excuses himself, flies into space as Superman, and then gets contacted by Jimmy when he accidentally activates the sonic signal-watch by mistake.

(Superman can hear the signal from outer space, by the way!)

Why all of this? Just to fly back to Earth, tell Jimmy that he won’t be available, and fly back into space AGAIN.

You’ll understand soon why they wanted Superman to be away for the next part of the story, but why go through all the trouble!? Couldn’t they just write that Jimmy and Lois were on vacation while Superman was busy in space!?

Of course I was expecting Jimmy to accidentally use the ray on himself, but I didn’t expect it to happen this way:

Two things.
1) it doesn’t look like the ray is passing through the turtle before hitting Jimmy; it doesn’t even look like it’s hitting Jimmy at all!
2) how are you “accidentally” activating the ray when it’s CLEARLY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE!?

And it’s finally Giant Turtle Man time!

Note the reference to the fact that Jimmy’s clothes are not enlarged because the ray only works on living matter. Does that mean that his speedo is alive!?

Giant Turtle Man then just walks towards Metropolis, which apparently isn’t that far from the “West Indies”: it’s close enough that a turtle can reach it within a day.

I suppose this is the reason why Superman needed to be written out of this part of this story: there’s no way he would be fine with Metropolis receiving so much damage.

Not until Man Of Steel gets released, at least.

Despite looking very silly with those bulging eyes, Giant Turtle Man is quite dangerous. He even takes on the Navy.

All of this to throw several tons of steel into a volcano.

I suppose one of the reasons for this issue’s popularity might have been the action.
Giant Turtle Man is a real powerhouse, so a fight with Superman promises to be exciting!

Or not.
LITERALLY THE NEXT PANEL:

Well that was anticlimactic. As is the revelation of who is behind this disaster.
Yes, Jimmy wasn’t actually in control, as we are told by Lori Lemaris, Superman’s telepathic mermaid side-chick.

This comes up in the very last page of the story, and it’s exactly as rushed as it seems.

Hold on a minute. What was Goxo’s plan, exactly!?
1) invent a growth ray
2) HOPE that a human finds it
3) HOPE that a human accidentally uses it on him/herself
4) command the human to collect metal
5) clog the volcano, causing it to overflow and prevent geologists to find some pirate treasure

This has to be the worst Silver Age evil plan I’ve ever seen.

First of all: if Goxo wants to escape from Atlantis, why not use the ray on himself?
Second: if he can control whoever is hit by the ray, why not order the human to free Goxo?
Third: if he just wants the treasure, why not order the human to steal it for him?

We end with Superman shrinking down Jimmy using Brainiac’s ray, which conveniently ALSO turns him back into a human.
Or at least into a Jimmy Olsen.

But we’re not done. We also have a separate story of Jimmy Olsen visiting Kandor, switching places with Van-Zee.

It looks like we just can’t get rid of Van-Zee, who we first saw in Lois Lane #15 and who is constantly showing up in my reviews.

Van-Zee is Superman’s exact body double, so I wonder if Jimmy is going to meet Bor-Jak from Lois Lane #27. You know, the OTHER Superman body double from Kandor, the one with the hots for Lucy Lane.

Also from Lois Lane #15 is Van-Zee’s wife Sylvia, who gives Jimmy a gravity belt and a “memory pillow”.

Note that Jimmy uses this to learn Kryptonese.
I could point out that Jimmy was perfectly fluent in the language in Jimmy Olsen 36, but considering that was the same issue where he spanked baby Superman… let’s agree to forget it.

As a throwaway panel, Kandor has the fountain of youth.
(!!!)

But this is trivial stuff compared to the real news: Jimmy is stuck on Kandor!

“Get me outa here” is often my reaction to Jimmy Olsen stories as well.

Silver Age Superman never misses an opportunity to be a dick, so he takes Jimmy literally.

Jimmy decides to get a job. Luckily, there’s no shortage of chances to be a stalker on Kandor.

Don’t question Kandor’s resolve to observe the scientific breakthroughs of Earth. It may look like a primitive planet, but they also invented the reality-warping Pinocchio Serum from Jimmy Olsen #32.

But that’s boring stuff so let’s creepily watch Lucy’s latest date!

Jimmy quits the stalker job over this, getting a new job as a rocket-ship navigator (how is he qualified for that!?!?) where of course he falls for a cute stewardess who looks like Lucy Lane.

First Lois has a double in Kandor, now Lucy… is EVERY Kandorian a clone or something!?

Naturally, as soon as Jimmy sets foot on a plane, it’s bound to crash.

Jimmy gets the chance to be a hero by scaring away a giant monster.

This impresses the Kandorian stewardess, but if you thought that Jimmy would get the girl, you clearly haven’t read enough Silver Age stories… she’s married.

I didn’t know that Earth stewardesses in the 60s would lose their job if they got married, but I can’t say I’m exactly surprised.

Jimmy needs some distraction from his situation, so he decides to watch a movie where the audience is able to taste and feel what’s on the screen.

Then this happens.

Leaving aside the HUGE invasion of privacy… this means that basically all of Kandor has kissed both Lucy AND Jimmy.

At least this explains why every time we see Kandor people are secretly watching Earth: virtual porn.

Things are so bad that Jimmy asks to be mind-wiped to forget Lucy!!!

Only to be IMMEDIATELY rescued by Superman.

With Jimmy having forgotten everything about Lucy, somehow this makes him more intriguing to her? Looks like Lucy might have a fetish.

You might think this would lead to more shenanigans, but nope!
Literally next panel:

I swear a psychiatrist would have a field day with those two.

Historical significance
Giant Turtle Man: 10/10
It’s undoubtedly the most famous Jimmy Olsen story of the 60s. This transformation is brought up again multiple times, and it’s a must if you make a Silver Age homage.
Kandor story: 3/10
It’s the first time Jimmy visits Kandor. He’ll have a few adventures with Van-Zee.

Silver Age-ness: 6/10
Both stories are quite pedestrian for the DC Silver Age.

Does it stand the test of time?
Giant Turtle Man: 2/10
This is pretty bad. There’s some cool stuff with Kaiju Jimmy vs the Navy, but that’s about it… the fight with Superman is a joke and any possible mystery about the transformation or the device is squandered by having the entire thing explained by Lori Lemaris in the very last page. So… why did THIS story get so representative of the period? I think it’s the cover. It combines the randomness of Jimmy turning into both a giant AND a man-turtle. The transformation also is a brilliant design: it’s goofy and silly, especially with the bulging eyes, but that’s the whole point. You’re not supposed to take this seriously, you’re supposed to think “how the heck did THIS happen!?” and buy the book to find out.
Kandor story: 0/10
Even if you enjoy Jimmy getting his comeuppance, this is contrivance after contrivance with not a lot of substance. Kandor’s stalking as aged terribly as well.

Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
Let’s test this mysterious ray on the first living creature I see! What could possibly go wrong?

Superpowers count: 23
You would think Giant Turtle Man would increase the count, but he’s been a giant before and he’s already had super-strength multiple times. So we’re still “only” at 23 superpowers.

 

Interesting letters: I can sort of understand the hatred for Lucy Lane, who isn’t exactly a good person, but I’m always baffled when someone considers Jimmy a paragon of virtue.

I won’t comment on “handsome”, but Jimmy Olsen is  “nice, generous, warm, clever, witty and friendly”!?
COME ON!!!