The good news is that Gerry Conway returns for the rest of the series, leaving behind the Martin Pasko nonsense. The bad news is that there are only 3 issues left before cancellation.
After the cancellation there are only 4 Metal Men appearances (and one is a glorified cameo); we’ll cover all of them, plus the 8 issues of “Brave And The Bold” where they team up with other heroes.
METAL MEN 54 (1977)
by Gerry Conway & Joe Staton
cover by Jim Aparo
Guys, I just said there are three issues left! You can’t leave now!
We begin the story with a surprisingly butch Tina leaving the team following the ending of the previous issue (where she got mad because Doc wouldn’t let her adopt babies).
Luckily Conway doesn’t even mention all that nonsense, and instead Tina is just mad because Doc shouldn’t consider the Metal Men his personal property.
Which… yeah they legally ARE property, but that doesn’t make it okay.
It’s a full-on robot strike, because the rest of the team ALSO wants to leave Doc behind!
Doc is shockingly okay with this, and focuses on building a new super-robot for the army. I’m sure this one won’t backfire like all the others.
We interrupt this Metal Men issue to bring you a Green Lantern story. The fact that the team-up is not advertised on the cover is just baffling… I don’t know if GL was selling well at the time, but the Metal Men are in DESPERATE need of a sales boost.
The reason for his involvement actually makes perfect sense, because he’s going up against the Missile Men! You know, the evil alien robots from aaaaaaall the way back from Metal Men #1, who we last saw in Metal Men #12.
Meanwhile, now that they are no longer working under Doc, the Metal Men are… actually effective as superheroes, saving people from a crashing helicopter? AND Mercury gets some character development!?!? Maybe I’ve been too harsh on the robots and Doc Magnus is 100% responsible for them sucking for 50 issues!!!
They even find an apartment for the entire team, paying with the simplest method available to them: self-mutilation!
Tina is excited by the apartment having its own kitchen. Since this is Metal Men, you might expect this to be played for laughs…
…but it’s actually a decently deep character study.
Tina and even Mercury getting some character development is not all that surprising, since they’ve always been the ones with the most personality, but now even IRON gets one!!!
Meanwhile on the Moon, Green Lantern disguises himself as one of the Missile Men and discovers that its leader is still obsessed with Tina.
With all the talks about the leader and Tina ruling the planet, Green Lantern suspects the Metal Men might have betrayed humanity…
In a decidedly not Silver Age moment, Green Lantern decides to talk to the robots before attacking them… but in a VERY Silver Age one, a strange ray scrambles their minds so that they only hear him threatening them!
Which means, you guessed it: big dumb fight. But a very enjoyable one!
Of course the Metal Men have an ace up their sleeve: gold is yellow.
Considering your track record, guys, this is a massive triumph!!!
METAL MEN 55 (1977)
by Gerry Conway & Joe Staton
cover by Jim Aparo
Note that Green Lantern is STILL not on the cover.
The Missile Men are back in full force, noticing the oversight of the previous issue: Tin was still alive.
The leader is only interested in Tina, though, so he just leaves with her.
But Gold has an unexpected ally: Green Lantern… ‘s ring.
With the Metal Men defeated, in order to deal with the Missile Men the army asks Doc to activate his latest robot. As opposed to, I don’t know, calling the Justice League or something????
Yeah that’s definitely not going to backfire spectacularly.
Unbeknownst to Doc, though, Gold is rebuilding the Metal Men… with the help of the ring.
I guess now we know why Green Lantern didn’t even show up on the cover: not only he spends most of the issue unconscious, he completely skips the finale!!!
Meanwhile the Missile Men leader has rebuilt Tina, and he explains how he recovered from being stranded on the bottom of the ocean during his last appearance.
That’s what you get by making your own robot army dumber than the Metal Men, dude.
And that’s the end of the Missile Men. Considering they were the villains of the very first issue, it would’ve been quite fitting if this was the last one… but there’s one left.
Metal Men significance: 6/10
Silver Age-ness: 4/10
The Missile Men are still extremely Silver Age, plus the robots searching for an apartment.
Does it stand the test of time? 10/10
Yeah… this is as good as Metal Men gets. The only criticism is that Green Lantern is quite superfluous to the whole story, but honestly even that just adds to the charm.
You have a good story, GREAT character development, good action, even a bit of philosophical questions… if only Metal Me had THIS level of quality, it would’ve been a powerhouse title.
Virtually the entire issue could be done today and it would work just fine!
Times Nameless has died: 5
Times Platinum has died: 18
Times Mercury has died: 20
Times Gold has died: 20
Times Tin has died: 24
Times Lead has died: 24
Times Iron has died: 24
Interesting letters: since the first issue of the Metal Men relaunch was written by Steve Gerber, it makes sense that a reader makes a direct connection to his groundbreaking Howard the Duck.
But then he goes too far in looking for a big message in the Doctor StrangeGlove story.
And you have to love the editor’s answer: “dude, this is Metal Men, it ain’t that deep”.
